Tag Archives: friendship

Make Others Feel Taller NOT Smaller

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Make Others Feel Taller NOT Smaller! - Great post from HappyHealthyandProsperous.com

Make Others Feel Taller NOT Smaller

Most people are drawn to the type of people who make others feel taller not smaller.  People like to be around other people who make them feel better about themselves.  In general, people pull away from and don’t like to be around those who make them feel bad about themselves.  Nobody likes to be around people who are cruel, mean, and rude (especially if that’s their typical nature most of the time).  This type of behavior is a sure-fire way to cut people out of your life!  It’s like the wrong end of a magnet repelling people…pushing them away instead of drawing them in.

People are drawn to those who make them feel good about themselves.  On a side note…Did you know that’s a significant factor in why many people have affairs?  It’s not that they necessarily like the other person that much.  It’s that they like themselves better when they’re around that person.  In affairs, those other people (i.e. affair partners) make them feel better about themselves.  

People like to be around other people who make them feel better about themselves.

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Someone made me feel smaller

I have been around people who have made me feel smaller NOT taller on a number of occasions.  Several years ago, I was involved in a situation that, quite honestly, made me feel like crap.  I was around someone who felt the need to “tell me the truth” because “true friends tell the truth”.  It made me feel very badly about myself, about how I looked, and about the mistakes I made.  I honestly felt I couldn’t do anything right, and even when I tried, that too was criticized.  It had a tendency to make me dread being around this person in particular.  Have you ever felt like that?  It’s pretty miserable.  Thankfully, I’m getting better about dealing with these feelings (okay…after a few tearful moments), but the initial feelings are very real nonetheless.

After being on the receiving end of hurtful situations like this, I wanted to make sure that I’M not a person who does this to others.  I wanted to be sure I was the kind of person that will make others feel taller not smaller.  So, I compiled a list of “Do’s” and “Don’ts” of practical steps that each of us can take to make sure we are NOT the kind of person that is like the wrong end of a magnet that repels people.  (I actually compiled this list on my phone at 3:00 am in the morning after the bad experience I mentioned earlier because I couldn’t sleep due to being so hurt and angry!)

I, too, have been guilty of making others feel smaller, not taller

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Importance of the Right Friends

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Importance of the Right Friends

Importance of the Right Friends

“The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.” (Proverbs 12:26 NIV)

In the previous post we talked about the importance of choosing friends wisely. More specifically, we discussed avoiding unequally yoked friendships. We focused primarily on what it means to be unequally yoked in close relationships. However, we did not spend a lot of time on the reasons why we should avoid these kinds of friendships. Therefore, in this week’s post I’d like to spend more time on the importance of the right friends.

When discussing unequally yoked team animals or draft animals, we mentioned that the mismatch can cause the animals to veer off path or course (even going in circles). The disparity can also lead to burdens on one or both of the animals, a loss of strength and energy, a loss of momentum and forward progression, a slower speed, and basically the animals are working against each other preventing both from completing the tasks set before them.

This is also true when we don’t have relationships with the right friends. Bad friends can endanger our course in life and turn us away from the right direction. They can also cause us undue burdens, deplete our energy and strength (mentally, emotionally, AND spiritually). Not having the right friends can slow us down and hinder our progress in life.

Friends can impact the direction of our life

We must guard our hearts when choosing the right friends. The bible says our hearts determine the course of our life. Therefore, not having the right friends (who affect our heart) can have a tremendous negative impact on the course and direction of our life.

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Proverbs 4:23 (NLT)

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn said, “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” Similarly, there’s another saying that goes, “Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.” Both quotes allude to the power that friendships have on our progress in life and in our future.

Our friendships have significant impact on us. There are negative ramifications and consequences when we don’t have the right friends.

Here are a few listed in scripture: Continue reading →

Unequally Yoked Friendships

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Unequally Yoked Friendships

Unequally Yoked Friendships

“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14 (ESV)

As a college instructor, a church youth small group leader, and a parent of a teen, I get the opportunity to work with a lot of teens and young adults. A frequent conversation that comes up in each of these roles is that of friendships and choosing friends wisely. Even more specifically, we discuss “unequally yoked friendships” and when/why to engage in them or avoid them.

What does unequally yoked actually mean?

The bible often uses agricultural terms due to the relevance to the culture of that time. People could more easily understand spiritual principles when described with an agricultural analogy because it was relatable to something they already knew and understood.

A “yoke” is a wooden crosspiece, harness, or device that is fastened over the necks of two draft animals (usually oxen) and attached to the plow or cart that they are to pull (see the picture at the top of this post). “Yoke” is also a verb meaning to join, link, or unite something. Therefore, to unequally yoke two animals would be to join or link two animals together that are unequal in size, strength, or capability or to link two different kinds of animals (Deuteronomy 22:10).

If a person were to plow a field with unequally yoked animals, we could probably imagine the problems that could arise…uneven plowing or circular plowing, the smaller/weaker animal can’t keep up, the larger/stronger animal gets slowed down, more burden is put on the larger/stronger animal, etc. The uneven match puts the animals at odds with one another preventing them from being able to work together to perform the task set before them.

What does it mean when applied to our relationships and not team animals?

Therefore, as a relational analogy to be unequally yoked refers to linking, joining, or uniting two people that are not likeminded or differ in morals, values, and/or beliefs. Specifically in 2 Corinthians 6:14 it mentions not to be yoked with unbelievers, in other words, not to be spiritually mismatched.

Does it only apply to dating or marriage?

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Funny Friday: Like an octopus on your face

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...like an octopus on your face

Funny Friday: Like an octopus on your face

One of my best friends, Michelle, sent this quote to me and our friend Elizabeth this week. 😀 We’ve been friends since college, almost 25 years now (insert Home Alone face slap). Even though we’ve lived in separate cities, states, and even a 1000 miles away, we’ve remained close. May each of you have octopus on your face friends like my friends Michelle and Elizabeth! Happy Friday!

“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. [like an octopus on your face–that part’s not in the bible 🙂]” Proverbs 18:24 (NIV)