Category Archives: Self-Esteem/Insecurity

Weeds in Your Thought Life

Weeds in Your Thought Life

“For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds; Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 (KJV)

Taking thoughts captive is like pulling weeds out of a garden. Our mind is the garden and the bad thoughts would be equivalent to the weeds. Sometimes things grow in our garden that we didn’t plant—weeds, volunteer plants, etc. Some are in direct competition with the good plants there. If they are not removed, they can crowd out, suffocate, leach nutrients, and eventually destroy the garden and become stronger which will then be much more difficult to remove and can cause much more damage.

Much the same, we have thoughts that enter our mind that we didn’t put there. If those thoughts are not removed, they can take over and crowd out positive thinking and eventually destroy a positive mindset and can wreak havoc in our lives and relationships. The negative thoughts, like weeds, will grow stronger and spread and form a stronghold in our mind which is much more difficult to remove and much more damaging than just a passing negative thought. 

Weeds can damage an entire garden, wrong thoughts can damage our soul

In my gardens and flowerbeds, if I allow the weeds to stay, they soak up all of the nutrients, they grow larger and spread out, and they strangle the good plants. This may eventually kill the good plants. If not pulled, the weeds can multiply and take over the garden. I have to get them and keep them under control, and it’s MUCH easier when they’re small—both in size and in number. It’s much more difficult and a lot more work to clean weeds out if I’ve waited until they’ve taken over. It can still be done—it’s just more exhausting and it takes more effort than if I had done it sooner.

Thoughts are much like these weeds. Some thoughts get planted in our minds that aren’t supposed to be there. They’re not supposed to be there because they are in direct conflict with God’s Word. These thoughts may be thoughts of temptation, lust, insecurity, fear, worry, malice, doubt, pride, negative self-talk of any kind, and so on. If these thoughts are not removed, regardless of how small or seemingly insignificant, they could multiply and grow stronger and crowd out the good and godly thoughts in our minds. If these negative thoughts grow in size and in number, they could cause damage—emotionally, mentally, and relationally.

Thoughts lead to action

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You Are More Important Than You Realize

You Are More Important Than You Realize

You Are More Important Than You Realize 

It’s notable to mention that it is highly likely that you are more important than you realize.  I would venture to guess that your gifts and the roles that you play probably hold far more weight in the kingdom of God than you probably give them credit for.  One day when we stand before God and give an answer for how we used our gifts and fulfilled our purpose, it will be exciting to see the magnitude of our influence here on this earth.  I believe that God thinks that YOU are a pretty big deal! 😉 

As we are coming to the close of a school year, it’s a good reminder for educators, staff, students, and parents alike. I’ve mentioned it before and the same is true now…you might be making a difference in the lives of others without even realizing it.

You and your gifts are necessary

God has given each and every person here on this earth a unique set of gifts and a purpose to fulfill.  Each gift and purpose is vital to God’s plan.  In fact, the Bible uses the analogy of a body and its different parts to demonstrate this point.  Each part of the body is necessary in order for the body to function properly (as God intended), and each God-given gift, role, and purpose is necessary in order for God’s kingdom, or the “body of Christ”, to function properly.

We are the body of Christ, and just as a body has many parts, so does the body of Christ.  The parts are placed exactly where God wants them (1 Corinthians 12:18).  Our gifts are part of this body.  There are a lot of them, and they all have different functions.  They all work together as part of a whole.  Every part is necessary.  We need all of the parts, just like God needs all of our gifts.

“Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other. In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well…” Romans 12:4-6 (NLT)

It’s tempting, but unwise, to compare our gifts with those of others

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Everyone Needs a Warm Fuzzies Folder…

Everyone Needs a Warm Fuzzies Folder...

Everyone Needs a Warm Fuzzies Folder…

A few years ago, I was talking with a friend and fellow blogger/speaker, and she was telling me about a note that her son wrote and stuck in her lunch bag (a bit of role reversal!).  She was telling me it was one she would keep.  I shared with her how I have a “Warm Fuzzies Folder” that I keep for just such items.  She informed me that I MUST blog about this folder and the need for everyone to have one. 🙂

An idea from a former boss

I can’t take credit for the idea of the Warm Fuzzies Folder.  When I was a college advisor, a former boss of mine actually encouraged me to make one.  A student that I had advised gave me a nice note.  Their note stated how much they had appreciated me and how much I had encouraged and helped them in their college career.  I shared the note with my boss because that token of gratitude had really made my day and meant a lot to me.

When I showed it to her she said, “You need to put that in a Warm Fuzzies Folder.”  I replied with, “A Warm Fuzzies Folder?  What’s that?”  She then asked me to follow her to her office where she pulled open a desk filing drawer and pulled out a folder labeled “Warm Fuzzies”.  Then she told me that the Warm Fuzzies Folder was a place where she kept items that people had given her that had made her have a warm and fuzzy feeling inside—things that made her happy and smile.  She told me that it was important to keep those items so that I can go back to that folder on hard days for some encouragement. 

I’ve kept a Warm Fuzzies Folder ever since!

I took her advice and have kept a Warm Fuzzies Folder ever since!  Actually, I have a couple now.  I have one for tangible items like cards, notes, and even some old homework assignments from some of my students.  Now, I also have a digital Warm Fuzzies Folder on my computer to save e-mails, digital photos, or even nice comments that people have put on my blog.  I can’t tell you how much it helps to refer back to those on days when I question why I do what I do…teach, blog, etc.  On those days when I get hateful reviews, comments, or complaints, I can go back to those warm fuzzies, get encouraged and remember that I really do make a difference for some people.

Some examples

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How Are You Making Excuses With God?

Are you notorious for making excuses? Do you even make excuses with God? Learn how to stop making excuses with God...

How Are You Making Excuses With God?

We’ve been discussing setting goals and making Vision Boards in my college courses recently.  I remembered when I first started doing mine that I experienced quite a bit of doubt, especially on the Vision Board.  Some of those dreams, visions, and goals just seemed so lofty and out of reach to me. I found myself making excuses for why I might never achieve them.

Then I heard a quote from Steven Furtick: “If the size of your vision isn’t intimidating to you, there’s a good chance it’s insulting to God.”  That really struck me and hit me right in my pride!  Anything great that God calls me to do MUST be beyond my reach in order to force me to rely on God and not on my own merits, talents, or efforts.

What about you?  When you think of great dreams and visions for your life do you experience some self-doubt?  Do you find yourself making excuses?  Are there some things that you are hesitant or even scared to put in writing or picture form?  Good!  That means then that you will HAVE to lean on God to help you achieve them, and you and others will see that only God could have helped you do that “impossible” thing.  He loves to show off by the way! 😉

You can’t argue with God and win

A few years ago, I was looking back through one of my old quiet time journals.  I came across an entry back in February of 2014 where I was doing exactly what I just described to you.  I was making excuses with God.  At the time I was really feeling God leading me to write, blog, speak, etc.  It was a crazy, scary concept for me to even imagine.

Then, conveniently the story of Moses kept coming up (hmmm…could that be God’s voice?).  I was reading through the books of Exodus 3 and Exodus 4.  God was calling Moses to be a leader, but Moses protested when God told him to go to Egypt to lead the people out.  He kept making excuses with God (this sounded very familiar to me!).  Funny thing though…Moses learned something that I’ve had to learn the hard way too–you can’t argue with God.  He always wins.  Making excuses doesn’t work with Him because He always has a counter. Continue reading

Jesus is the Cornerstone: What does this mean for us?

Jesus is the Cornerstone What does this mean for us title image

Jesus is the Cornerstone: What does this mean for us?

“Together, we are his house, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. And the cornerstone is Christ Jesus himself.” Ephesians 2:20 (NLT)

My church small group is currently reading through and studying the book of Ephesians. When reading over Ephesians 2 recently, a section near the end stood out to me—a part describing Jesus as the cornerstone. I love analogies, so I decided to study this a little more.

The analogy given in the passage describes the followers of Jesus as a house, a temple where God now lives by his Holy Spirit (see also 1 Corinthians 3:16, 1 Corinthians 6:19, 2 Corinthians 6:16, Romans 8:9). Paul describes us as being built on a foundation of those who went before us, the apostles and prophets, and Jesus is the cornerstone.

I learned that a cornerstone, sometimes called a foundation stone, is the first stone laid for a structure. I read that this was the most important part of this ancient construction method. A cornerstone was generally a very large and solid stone, typically larger and sturdier than all other stones. This stone took the most care and precision to lay because of its importance to all of the other stones and to the structure as a whole.

The cornerstone is put into place with all of the other stones then laid in reference to that stone. It sets the direction and the orientation of the entire structure. The cornerstone ensures proper alignment when all of the other stones line up with it. A cornerstone is a rock upon which the weight of the entire structure rests.

There are so many parallels that can be seen between a cornerstone and Jesus.

Parallels between a cornerstone and Jesus

Cornerstone

  • First stone laid
  • Most important part in the construction of the structure
  • A very large, reliable, and sturdy stone
  • Sets the foundation
  • Sets the direction and standard of the structure
  • Ensures proper alignment
  • Provides stability for the structure
  • The rock on which the structure and weight rests
  • Joins the structure, all the stones, together

Jesus

What being our cornerstone means to us…

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Mistakes Can Turn Into Success

Mistakes Can Turn Into Success. Look at these examples of bad turned good…

Mistakes Can Turn Into Success:  Look at these examples of bad turned good…

In a previous post, we talked about how our failures and mistakes can contribute to some of our insecurities.  We tend to beat ourselves up for the mistakes we make.  It never ceases to amaze me though how God can take our disobedience and mistakes and turn them into something beautiful.  He can take something that I completely messed up and then turn it around to be a blessing to me and to others.  

Did you know there are several products and inventions that came from mistakes?  To name a few…the Slinky, Penicillin, plastic, chocolate chip cookies (thank goodness for this mistake!), potato chips, the pacemaker, silly putty, safety glass, microwave ovens, corn flakes, Post-it notes (another one of my favorites!), x-rays, superglue, popsicles, vulcanized rubber (i.e. tires), and matches.  Here’s a fun read about the 20 Most Fascinating Accidental Inventions all originating from mistakes.  I personally believe many of these mistakes turned success were probably God-inspired.  There are stories throughout the Bible of mistakes turned success too.

God turned Jonah’s mistake into a success

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Make Others Feel Taller NOT Smaller

Make Others Feel Taller NOT Smaller! - Great post from HappyHealthyandProsperous.com

Make Others Feel Taller NOT Smaller

Most people are drawn to the type of people who make others feel taller not smaller.  People like to be around other people who make them feel better about themselves.  In general, people pull away from and don’t like to be around those who make them feel bad about themselves.  Nobody likes to be around people who are cruel, mean, and rude (especially if that’s their typical nature most of the time).  This type of behavior is a sure-fire way to cut people out of your life!  It’s like the wrong end of a magnet repelling people…pushing them away instead of drawing them in.

People are drawn to those who make them feel good about themselves.  On a side note…Did you know that’s a significant factor in why many people have affairs?  It’s not that they necessarily like the other person that much.  It’s that they like themselves better when they’re around that person.  In affairs, those other people (i.e. affair partners) make them feel better about themselves.  

Someone made me feel smaller

I have been around people who have made me feel smaller NOT taller on a number of occasions.  Several years ago, I was involved in a situation that, quite honestly, made me feel like crap.  I was around someone who felt the need to “tell me the truth” because “true friends tell the truth”.  It made me feel very badly about myself, about how I looked, and about the mistakes I made.  I honestly felt I couldn’t do anything right, and even when I tried, that too was criticized.  It had a tendency to make me dread being around this person in particular.  Have you ever felt like that?  It’s pretty miserable.  Thankfully, I’m getting better about dealing with these feelings (okay…after a few tearful moments), but the initial feelings are very real nonetheless.

After being on the receiving end of hurtful situations like this, I wanted to make sure that I’M not a person who does this to others.  I wanted to be sure I was the kind of person that will make others feel taller not smaller.  So, I compiled a list of “Do’s” and “Don’ts” of practical steps that each of us can take to make sure we are NOT the kind of person that is like the wrong end of a magnet that repels people.  (I actually compiled this list on my phone at 3:00 am in the morning after the bad experience I mentioned earlier because I couldn’t sleep due to being so hurt and angry!)

I, too, have been guilty of making others feel smaller, not taller

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Dimensions of God’s Love

Dimensions of God’s Love title image

Dimensions of God’s Love

“And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” Ephesians 3:18-19 (NLT)

This past weekend we celebrated Valentine’s Day in the U.S. It’s a day to celebrate love. In keeping with the theme of the holiday, I had been reading and studying some scriptures on love. As I was reading some of the scriptures, something came to mind about the dimensions of God’s love as I read John 15:12.

“This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you.” John 15:12 (NLT)

The phrase in this translation “in the same way I have loved you” stood out to me. I thought to myself, “In what way does God love us?” Then some verses in Ephesians 3 immediately came to mind about the dimensions of God’s love…

“And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” Ephesians 3:18-19 (NLT)

I also started thinking about how Paul was praying here that they (the people of Ephesus) would come to know, understand and experience God’s love firsthand for themselves. As I thought back to John 15:12, I had a recognition that we can’t fully love others the way God intended until we have fully recognized, become aware of, and/or known God’s love. We are called to KNOW and SHOW God’s love. However, we have to know God’s love first before we can love others properly.

4 Dimensions of God’s love: Wide, Long, High, and Deep

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