Tag Archives: bad attitude

Choose Gratitude

Choose Gratitude title image

Choose Gratitude

Sometimes the holidays can be a difficult time for people. It can feel like something to “get through” rather than something to enjoy. At times there are triggers that can keep us from loving and appreciating the holidays as much as we could. It’s in times like these that we have to make a choice to be grateful and find joy. We need to choose gratitude. I recently heard that gratitude and negative thoughts cannot function simultaneously.

I’ve written previously, that gratitude can affect our hearts and our perspectives. I’ve learned that obsessing and focusing on the negative will make me bitter. It can also cause a spiritual blockage which can in turn be offensive to others and to God.

However, when I can shift my mind from the negative things and intentionally focus on and choose gratitude, a positive internal shift happens. Looking back with gratitude and thankfulness can lighten the load and help things seem a little brighter and less dark. Additionally, choosing to see God’s provision can alleviate some frustration and discontent.

Gratitude affects our mental health & well-being

It should come as no surprise that gratitude is a crucial component of mental health and well-being.

Numerous studies have concluded that gratitude showed significant protection against and lowered levels of depression and anxiety.[1][2][3] One 2015 study indicated that “Gratitude is a protective factor against psychopathology not only due to its association with improved relationships with others, but also because it is connected to a less critical, less punishing, and more compassionate relationship with the self.”[4]

If we find ourselves dealing with difficult and negative thoughts and emotions, it’s a great time to shift our focus. It’s time to choose gratitude.

Gratitude and negative thoughts can’t coexist

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Looking Back With Gratitude

Looking back with gratitude title image

Looking Back With Gratitude

I’m a little late in getting this post written and posted since we’re already into February. Even though this is a bit of a “year in review” post, I feel like some of the elements and principles discussed may still be useful for some people regardless of the time of year. My aim with this post is to encourage people to find the good in the midst of the bad, even when the bad seems to stand out more than the good. It’s about looking back with gratitude.

Gratitude in the negative circumstances

As is typical at the end of the year, I look over the previous year and take some time praying about what God might have me focus on in the upcoming year. When looking back, it seemed like the “bad” or negative things stood out the most. 2022 was a very heavy year. However, I’ve been convicted and reminded that it’s important to not just focus on the bad. It’s essential to look at the good too and be thankful.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Philippians 4:6-8 (NLT)

Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NLT)

Do everything without complaining and arguingPhilippians 2:14 (NLT)

I’ve written recently, that gratitude can affect our hearts and our perspectives. I’ve learned that stewing in negativity and focusing on the negative will make me bitter. It can also cause a spiritual blockage which can in turn be offensive to others and to God.

However, when I can shift my mind from the negative things happening in my life and intentionally focus on gratitude, a positive internal shift happens. Looking back with gratitude and thankfulness can lighten the load and help things seem a little brighter and less dark. Additionally, choosing to see God’s provision can alleviate some frustration and discontent.

Encourage yourself

There have been several times that I’ve had to go back and re-read my own posts. Some of the same advice I give to others, I need to take myself. I’ve learned, and re-learned, that I need to encourage myself in the Lord as David did when he was greatly distressed.

“And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God.” 1 Samuel 30:6 (KJV)

To encourage myself I can remind myself of where God has been faithful in the past and look at the good He was doing even in the midst of bad things going on around me. Another helpful reminder has been not to overlook or “despise” the small things.

Who dares despise the day of small things, since the seven eyes of the LORD that range throughout the earth will rejoice when they see the chosen capstone in the hand of Zerubbabel?” Zechariah 4:10 (NIV)

So as I look over the past year, even though we endured a lot of bad and negative circumstances, we continued to see God’s faithfulness, feel his presence, and retain and/or renew our hope (even though some situations are still ongoing). There was so much good to be found through it all, and I have to remind myself of that (sometimes repeatedly).

Looking back over 2022…the bad AND the good

Worst teaching semester ever

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Using Empathy: The Practical and the Scriptural

Using Empathy The Practical and the Scriptural_title image

Using Empathy: The Practical and the Scriptural

Previously we talked about how there has been a decline in empathy and the importance of using an empathy filter and thinking before we speak so as not to hurt relationships. This week I’d like to take our discussion of empathy a step further to address both some of the practical and scriptural elements of using empathy. We’ll talk about what empathy is, some of the reasons for using empathy, see some examples in scripture of using empathy, and learn how to have and improve empathy.

The world needs more Christians who show genuine empathy. We all need people who will show true love, comfort, and compassion to people in pain. This is nothing new. Even in biblical times, David struggled to find comfort and empathy in those around him.

“Scorn has broken my heart and has left me helpless; I looked for sympathy, but there was none, for comforters, but I found none.” Psalm 69:20 (NIV)

As Christians, we need to be the ones excelling in this area and setting the example. After all, we are called to follow Jesus, and he demonstrated empathy as did God, himself.

What exactly is empathy?

In short, empathy is the ability to:

  • Recognize emotions of others
  • Understand emotions of others
  • Participate in emotions of others

Empathy has a thought component (imagining or reflecting on the perspective of another) and a feelings component (an understanding of and participation in the emotions of another).

The following are some dictionary definitions of empathy:

  • Ability to understand and share the feelings of another
  • Action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner
  • Psychological identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another

Empathy is also demonstrated by the ability to have understanding, compassion, sensitivity, and tact in addition to showing support for others both in word and action.

Here are some great, short video clips that explain empathy:

Empathy is a key component of emotional intelligence

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Empathy…The Filter We ALL Need

Empathy-The Filter We ALL Need title image

Empathy…The Filter We ALL Need

Recently, we discussed the importance of showing intentional kindness due to the world becoming more rude, uncivil, divisive, and lacking compassion. As divisiveness grows, polarization prevails, and kindness dissipates, there has also been a decline and loss of empathy. We’re seeing an unfortunate culture shift. There has been recent scientific research supporting the idea that people are caring less and less for others and more for themselves. One study found that levels of empathy significantly declined among young people from 1979 to 2009.[1]

Although, we probably don’t need a scientific study to tell us this when we can just look around at interactions taking place in the world around us and see the cruelty and apathy firsthand. People are becoming more desensitized, and harshness, coldness, callousness, and a lack of compassion are becoming the standard.

The Bible warns us about a decrease in empathy

Multiple places in scripture say that in the last days people will be scoffing, selfish, narcissistic, cruel, hardhearted, uncaring, insensitive, and lacking self-control, compassion, and love for those around them.

“Sin will be rampant everywhere, and the love of many will grow cold.” Matthew 24:12 (NLT)

“You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be very difficult times. For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that!” 2 Timothy 3:1-5 (NLT)

“Most importantly, I want to remind you that in the last days scoffers will come, mocking the truth and following their own desires.” 2 Peter 3:3 (NLT)

“They told you that in the last times there would be scoffers whose purpose in life is to satisfy their ungodly desires. These people are the ones who are creating divisions among you. They follow their natural instincts because they do not have God’s Spirit in them.” Jude 1:18-19 (NLT)

Some recent personal experiences of an empathy deficit

Unfortunately, I’ve had some recent experiences of seeing an empathy deficit firsthand…by a doctor, a family member, and a student. Continue reading

Ways to Fight Discontentment

Ways to Fight Discontentment title image

Ways to Fight Discontentment

Have you ever struggled with discontentment in something? You know…a situation where you just feel unhappy, frustrated, annoyed, irritated, displeased, dissatisfied, or just flat out angry. It might be in your job, in your marriage, at your current church, in a relationship or friendship, in a class, on a team, or even with material things like your home or your car. I think we all at some point or another in our lives experience some discontentment with various things, myself included.

I have been struggling with a couple of these things myself over the past couple of years. Recently God convicted me about how I was handling some of my frustrations and dissatisfactions. Unfortunately I was letting my discontentment steer some of my attitudes and behaviors, and it wasn’t in a good way. God dealt with me on some practical ways that I can fight discontentment, so that I don’t become bitter or give a foothold to the devil (Ephesians 4:27). This week I thought I’d share some of those strategies with you in hopes that they might help you too if and when you ever struggle with discontentment.

Take Some Practical Steps to Fight Discontentment:

Pray for a right heart and spirit

One of the things that has helped me the most over the past year has been to pray Psalm 51:10 as a heartfelt prayer over myself. By doing this, I’m asking God to change my heart and clean it up and to help me have a right spirit in areas where my heart and spirit may not line up with God and his heart. I’ve seen a tremendous difference in my attitude (and my irritation levels) since doing this. Whenever, I start to feel discontentment and frustration coming on, I will say this verse out loud, sometimes two or three times (or more!).

Another verse that I pray over myself is Ezekiel 36:26 asking God to take away any hard-heartedness or stubbornness that I might have and to help me be more tender and responsive.

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10 (ESV)

“And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.” Ezekiel 36:26 (NLT)

Pray for grace

I’ve also found it extremely helpful to pray for grace. This is the kind of grace to be able to handle things that I normally can’t handle on my own. This definition of grace is God’s ability and enabling power. With God’s ability and power helping us, it makes managing difficult situations much easier and more bearable.

“Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NLT)

“So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” Hebrews 4:16 (NLT)

Pray for those things that frustrate you

Consider this–maybe God is allowing you to be discontent in certain areas in order to talk to you or trigger you to pray for those areas. Instead of just feeling discontentment in expressing your frustrations and complaining, start praying about those issues or things that you see wrong. Pray about things that need to be changed. Find some scriptures to stand on and believe for that will help with that specific need or problem.

Strive to give, not to get, when you are feeling discontentment

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