Tag Archives: Relationships

Unequally Yoked Friendships

Unequally Yoked Friendships

Unequally Yoked Friendships

“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14 (ESV)

As a college instructor, a church youth small group leader, and a parent of a teen, I get the opportunity to work with a lot of teens and young adults. A frequent conversation that comes up in each of these roles is that of friendships and choosing friends wisely. Even more specifically, we discuss “unequally yoked friendships” and when/why to engage in them or avoid them.

What does unequally yoked actually mean?

The bible often uses agricultural terms due to the relevance to the culture of that time. People could more easily understand spiritual principles when described with an agricultural analogy because it was relatable to something they already knew and understood.

A “yoke” is a wooden crosspiece, harness, or device that is fastened over the necks of two draft animals (usually oxen) and attached to the plow or cart that they are to pull (see the picture at the top of this post). “Yoke” is also a verb meaning to join, link, or unite something. Therefore, to unequally yoke two animals would be to join or link two animals together that are unequal in size, strength, or capability or to link two different kinds of animals (Deuteronomy 22:10).

If a person were to plow a field with unequally yoked animals, we could probably imagine the problems that could arise…uneven plowing or circular plowing, the smaller/weaker animal can’t keep up, the larger/stronger animal gets slowed down, more burden is put on the larger/stronger animal, etc. The uneven match puts the animals at odds with one another preventing them from being able to work together to perform the task set before them.

What does it mean when applied to our relationships and not team animals?

Therefore, as a relational analogy to be unequally yoked refers to linking, joining, or uniting two people that are not likeminded or differ in morals, values, and/or beliefs. Specifically in 2 Corinthians 6:14 it mentions not to be yoked with unbelievers, in other words, not to be spiritually mismatched.

Does it only apply to dating or marriage?

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Combat in a New Kind of High Ground

Combat in a New Kind of High Ground

Combat in a New Kind of High Ground

Previously, I wrote about the benefits of high ground or of an elevated position. The name of the Lord provides us this advantage of an elevated position.

“The name of Adonai is a strong tower; a righteous person runs to it and is raised high [above danger].” Proverbs 18:10 (CJB)

This high ground gives us the advantages of protection from the enemy, of having a better vantage point of the enemy, and of a more advantageous fighting position.

When writing about these advantages, I stumbled upon an online article via Military.com that discussed focusing on taking the high ground…but in a completely different way than we might initially imagine. The article demonstrates that taking the high ground no longer means literally fighting from a higher, elevated position or terrain. Instead it involves immersion with the indigenous people.

From the article…

“In previous wars, the high ground, or the most advantageous place to be on the battlefield, was an elevated piece of terrain such as a hill or a mountain from which a unit could best defend themselves, build up their forces, and then advance to the next objective.

The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are anything but conventional conflicts. We can’t battle Al Qaeda the same way we did the Germans in World War II. Sitting on top of a hill with superior firepower is no longer an advantageous position. In fact, it’s actually counterproductive when fighting an insurgency or an enemy that blends in with the local population. Generals Petraeus and Amos argued that the “high ground” in this type of asymmetric conflict isn’t any type of terrain but rather the indigenous people.

In order to win this “terrain” we have to come off the hill and immerse ourselves in the community. We need to create relationships with the local people, understand their fears and needs, provide security, and show them that working with us is more prosperous than siding with the insurgents. We have to win their hearts and minds.  It’s personal.  It’s face-to-face combat.  The only way to win the war is to create one positive relationship at a time.”[1]

Jesus took this kind of high ground!

When thinking of the benefits of the name of the Lord as an elevated position, I immediately saw Jesus in this new definition of high ground. Jesus took THIS type of high ground! In order to battle the enemy, Satan, Jesus came to this earth, into our terrain and into our world, and immersed himself with the local population, with the “indigenous people”. He became a human. He became one of us. This is incarnation, God becoming flesh assuming human nature by becoming a man in the form of Jesus Christ.

Jesus didn’t just fight from an elevated position in the high ground of heaven. He came to earth to become a part of the human race. He came down from heaven and immersed himself in the local community and established relationship with us. Because he came to do life as one of us, he understands our fears and needs. Jesus can relate to us and empathize with us because he was one of us. He knows what we battle. He was tempted as we are.

Because of what he did and sacrificed on our behalf he is able to provide security for us (a way out of sin and death). By Jesus building relationship with us (and us with him) we are able to see that working with him is more prosperous than siding with the “insurgent”, Satan/sin. Jesus came to win our hearts and minds. Jesus came to engage in face-to-face combat with our enemy.

Jesus immersed himself among the indigenous people…scripture references

“So the Word became human and made his home among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. And we have seen his glory, the glory of the Father’s one and only Son.” John 1:14 (NLT)

“Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being…” Philippians 2:6-7 (NLT)

“Great indeed, we confess, is the mystery of godliness: He was manifested in the flesh, vindicated by the Spirit, seen by angels, proclaimed among the nations, believed on in the world, taken up in glory.” 1 Timothy 3:16 (ESV)

“But when the right time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman, subject to the law.” Galatians 4:4 (NLT)

“The law of Moses was unable to save us because of the weakness of our sinful nature. So God did what the law could not do. He sent his own Son in a body like the bodies we sinners have. And in that body God declared an end to sin’s control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins.” Romans 8:3 (NLT)

“For this reason he had to be made like them, fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people.” Hebrews 2:17 (NIV)

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet he did not sin.” Hebrews 4:15 (NIV)

Then how do WE take this kind of high ground?

Our goal is the same as Jesus…to win the war against Satan and sin, by creating one positive relationship at a time. Win people to God, one relationship at a time. Evangelism is done better in relationship.

Take Some Practical Steps to Take This Kind of High Ground:

  • First, immerse yourself among the “indigenous people”. 🙂

You can’t reach people if you don’t engage with them! Take a step outside of your own comfort zone and venture, uncomfortably and awkwardly, into the sometimes messy lives of others. Put yourself out there. Be vulnerable.

Also consider this… Who do you avoid? Who makes you uncomfortable? How can you take a step to engage with them? In southern vernacular, “Get off your high horse and get down and dirty with the people.” The high horse isn’t the high ground you want! This might require doing a self-righteous self-check. 😉

It doesn’t always have to be hard, unenjoyable, uncomfortable, or awkward. Sometimes it’s easy and simple (sometimes deceivingly so) to engage with others, but you still have to take a step!

  • Secondly, create relationships.

Develop a rapport, trust, and relationship with those who are in need of help. Meet them where they are, and relate to them where you can. Find common ground. Utilize empathy and attempt to understand their fears and needs. Provide security and encouragement when and where you can.

Let people see Jesus in you and through you. Show others that it’s more prosperous to side with God.

How can you take this new kind of high ground by immersing yourself into your own community or into a community you’d like to reach? Who can you engage with this week, this month, or this year? Share with us by leaving a comment below.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are rude, disrespectful, sarcastic, offensive, or off-topic.  By posting on this site you agree to my Comment Policy.

P.S.  If you liked this post, you might enjoy receiving new posts delivered right to your inbox each week!  Sign up here

If you know anyone that could benefit from this, please pay it forward!  Share this post via the sharing links below.  “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV)

  1. Abrams, Michael. “Focus Your Transition on Taking the High Ground.” Military.com, www.military.com/veteran-jobs/career-advice/military-transition/focus-your-transition-on-taking-the-high-ground.html.

Let Your Life Speak Louder Than Your Words

Let Your Life Speak Louder Than Your Words

Let Your Life Speak Louder Than Your Words

This past week during our church youth group, a few of the student small groups got together for a Question & Answer session. During this Q&A session the topic of letting your life speak came up. A couple of the questions that arose had to do with how we, as Christians, should behave around unbelievers (non-Christians) or those with differing lifestyles. Some examples of the questions included:

How do I talk to this person who is an atheist?

How am I supposed to talk to people about God if they don’t believe the same way I do or have a different religion?

How should I treat homosexuals or transgender people (if I disagree with their lifestyle)?

A couple of the students and leaders threw some obvious answers out there…

“You treat them/talk to them the exact same way you’d treat anyone else!”

“Treat others in the same way that you would want them to treat you.” Luke 6:31 (NET)

“Jesus, himself, was found hanging out with the ‘sinners’. Jesus said ‘Healthy people don’t need a doctor–sick people do.’ (Luke 5:31 NLT) How are we supposed to impact or influence people that don’t believe if we don’t spend time with them and show them love? That’s what Jesus did.”

Let your life speak…aka Let your life do the talking

I tried to share some examples from my own life about how this might be played out practically. I shared how I felt that our lives are actually more impactful and powerful than our words. In fact, I might do better winning people over by keeping my mouth shut! In other words, we need to let our life speak louder than our words.

The following scripture has always been a significant one for me in this area…

“Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” 1 Peter 3:1-4 (NIV) or said another way…

“…Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words…” 1 Peter 3:1 (NLT)

I’ve mentioned before how I’m a fan of daily positive affirmations. One of my affirmations is “People see Jesus in me. I win people over by the way I live without saying a word.” My heart’s desire and prayer is that I am always a positive reflection and representation of Jesus because I know that I might be the only “Jesus” that some people see.

“And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.” Colossians 3:17 (NLT)

Even Jesus told people to let their life speak

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How to Apologize Effectively

How to Apologize Effectively

How to Apologize Effectively

Updated post (*originally published 8/5/14)

“So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.” Matthew 5:23-24 (NLT)

I stumbled onto something pretty cool previously that I thought I’d share with you.  I think you’ll like it too!  It’s a free personal profile to discover your “apology language”.

I’m a HUGE fan of Dr. Gary Chapman, who is best known for his New York Times bestseller: The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts and the series of books that go along with it.  A few years ago I was listening to one of the Focus on the Family podcasts, and Dr. Chapman was discussing the Five Love Languages and how there are also five languages of apology.  He’s co-authored a book with Dr. Jennifer Thomas titled When Sorry Isn’t Enough: Making Things Right with Those You Love in which they detail the study of apologies and how people give and receive them.

Listening to the podcast, I found this very intriguing because I’ve noticed myself sometimes having a hard time receiving somebody’s apology simply because of the delivery or because it didn’t feel genuine to me.  Dr. Chapman mentioned that “If you receive an apology that omits your apology language, chances are you won’t fully accept it or even recognize it as an apology.”  The goal of their book was to help people “learn the techniques to effectively recognize and deliver apologies and watch relationships thrive as a result”.

The five basic languages of apology are: Continue reading

A Prayer for Caregivers

A Prayer for Caregivers

Recently I’ve been feeling some empathy for caregivers, not because I’m personally in that position but because I have family members and friends who are. I see many of them suffering silently (and some not so silently!) as they care for ailing loved ones. The mixed emotions are evident as it is apparent that they deeply love who they care for, yet they themselves experience such fatigue and frustration and maybe even some feelings of failure. I’ve seen where it’s sometimes so hard to offer compassion and then the guilt that immediately follows. What a rollercoaster of emotions these caregivers must ride.

My dad has had his fair share of medical problems (and that’s putting it lightly). Several years ago he was having some serious health problems. My mom has always been his primary caregiver. During this time, a friend of mine and I were having a conversation, and she was inquiring more about my mom than my dad which I thought was odd. My mom wasn’t the one with the major health problems at the time—my dad was.

However, she went on to explain something that I hadn’t thought of prior to that. She said, oftentimes people focus more on the patient, and the caregiver gets neglected (by others AND by themselves). She went on to say how many times when the caregivers are neglected, they end up being worse off than the patient in both physical and emotional health, especially if they are older or have any health problems of their own.

I’ve learned that caregivers have a higher risk of stress and medical problems, in addition to the emotional and mental turmoil on top of that. In light of that, this week I’d like to give you a prayer for caregivers. 

A Prayer for Caregivers

Lord, help me remember I am doing your work.

Help me to clothe myself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, and love.

Help me to live out and embody the fruit of the Spirit showing love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Enable me to see them through your eyes.

Help me to have compassion as you did and to follow your example.

Ease my burden and provide times of rest and refreshment.

Give me the energy necessary to fulfill my tasks.

Grant me the strength and extra grace to be able to handle things I might not normally be able to handle.

Help me not to lose my joy and give me moments of laughter.

In moments of frustration help me to be slow to anger and to refrain from letting any anger or frustration give a foothold to the devil or lead to any sin.

Comfort me as I mourn what I have lost.

Fill me up with your love so that I’m so full that your love overflows out of me–I do not have the sufficiency to pour this out of my own supply so I need YOUR supply.

Thank you for supplying all of my needs according to your riches in glory through Christ Jesus.

Help me to just be your conduit and means through which you work and help me to remember that it’s you THROUGH me.

Thank you for trusting me with this role of caring for another.

Scriptures for Caregivers (above prayer is based upon these scriptures)

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Prayer for You This Year–2018

Prayer for You This Year 2018

Photo by Ümit Bulut on Unsplash

Prayer for You This Year–2018

As many people start the year with a fresh start and New Year’s Resolutions, it’s a time to look toward the upcoming year. The same is true for me. I’ll be participating with my church in a 21 day challenge involving 21 days of prayer, discipline and bible study. During the month of January, I will be spending some time in concentrated prayer. As part of my prayer time, I will be spending time praying for my blog, readers, and subscribers. I plan on praying for each person on my subscriber list individually.

There will be some general areas that I will be praying for each of you, which I’ll detail below. However, I’d also like to take this opportunity to reach out to you and see if you have any specific needs or prayer requests that you would like me to pray about. I would love to hear from you!

You can let me know your requests by:

  1. Posting a comment below (at the bottom of this page)
  2. Sending a message through my contact page by clicking here
  3. Sending me an email at tracy at happyhealthyandprosperous dot com (I have to list the email this way to avoid those crazy spam robots! :P)

I will add your specific requests to my list, and I will commit to praying for you and your needs. If you don’t have any specific needs, please know that you are still being prayed for by name anyway!

General areas I’ll be praying for

  • Spiritual growth and relationship with God and for you to also grow in wisdom stature and favor like Jesus did
  • Health, healing and emotional well-being
  • Relationships with others in your life
  • Work
  • Finances and prosperity
  • Gifts, calling and purpose
  • Direction
  • Strength and courage
  • Peace
  • Open doors for you this year and close the wrong ones
  • Experience God’s love this year

My prayer for you this year…

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You Might Be Making a Difference Without Even Realizing It

Making a Difference...

You Might Be Making a Difference Without Even Realizing It

A lesson I’ve learned over the last couple of weeks is that sometimes you might be making a difference without even realizing it. I shouldn’t be surprised by this. I pray for this all of time. I even claim this as a positive confession from time to time. In fact, I have some daily positive affirmations that I have saved in the notes in my phone. One of them says, “People see Jesus in me. I win people over by the way I live without saying a word.” One of my heart’s desires is making a difference in the lives of the people I encounter. Sometimes though, I just don’t even know I’m doing it!

Dare I say the worst semester ever?

OK, I’ll try to make a very long story short here. This past semester of teaching was…well…horrendous to put it lightly. I mean, it was bad. So bad that I came very, very close to turning in my resignation. The college class that I teach had undergone a complete overhaul and the outcome was an exponential increase in my workload and a decrease in pay…and nearly a complete loss of autonomy, and a severe increase in stress, and tremendous loss of time with my family, and loss of joy in teaching, and… OK I’ll stop there.

This workload (and everything else) also increased significantly for the students as well. It actually felt like our class and new changes were hurting the students instead of helping them. Grades were significantly down compared to previous semesters, and more students were failing than ever before. This is what weighed on me the most because I truly believe in making a difference in a positive way in the lives of my students, and this class typically allows for that. However, that was not the case this semester. Or so I thought.

Making a difference? Yeah right! How about: A lost cause 

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Funny Friday: I’m starting to think my husband isn’t going to apologize…

I'm starting to think my husband isn't going to apologize for the way he acted in my dream last night.

Funny Friday: I’m starting to think my husband isn’t going to apologize…

“I’m starting to think my husband isn’t going to apologize for the way he acted in my dream last night.”  Does this happen to anyone else?  He just doesn’t seem to understand why I’m so mad at him!

“I have had a dream that troubles me and I want to know what it means.” Daniel 2:3 (NLT)