Tag Archives: division

How to Avoid Making Negative Comments

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Learn some steps to avoid the trap of making negative comments.

How to Avoid Making Negative Comments

I get several comments posted to my blog articles.  Unfortunately, not all of them are very nice.  Sometimes it’s hard not to take things personally.  At one point, I had been getting so many negative comments in such a short time frame that when I would get an e-mail informing me that I had a new comment to moderate I would moan and hang my head in dread of what I was about to read.

Once, I was at my sister’s house, and my e-mail chimed alerting me of a new comment.  “Not again.” I groaned.  “What’s wrong?” my sister asked.  “I’ve got another comment to moderate.  I’m afraid to look at it.” I said.  “Here, let me read it first,” she suggested.  I handed her my phone.  Thankfully she smiled as she read it and said, “It’s a good one.”  I breathed a sigh of relief.  Fortunately, I have received a number of positive and encouraging comments too.  Why is it that the bad ones seem to overpower the good?  It’s no wonder Paul urges us to keep our focus on positive and good things.

“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Philippians 4:8 (NLT)

Focusing on negative comments will weigh us down

Focusing on the negative will only bring us down.  It will cause us anxiety and worry (Philippians 4:6), and it could even cause us to get so worked up that we might act out in our emotions and say or do things that we regret.  I think that’s probably what happens when people post nasty things or negative comments on my site.  They probably read something that they disagreed with or that potentially offended them, and then they acted out of their emotion.

Unfortunately, technology these days has cultivated an environment where it is easy for people to be passive-aggressive. People say things online or via technology that they would never say to someone face-to-face.

In light of that, I have a fairly strict comment policy on my site to protect my visitors from negative comments that could hurt or hinder them.  I had to lay out some simple ground rules in order to enable constructive conversation while discouraging rude, disrespectful, sarcastic, offensive, divisive, or off-topic negative comments.  I don’t even want to foster an atmosphere that’s conducive to arguments taking place on my site.  That’s not God’s purpose for my site.  I want my site to be a place of peace.

Scriptural communication guidelines

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Be Kind: Put On Your Kindness Hat!

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Be Kind: Put On Your Kindness Hat!

We live in such a polarized world these days. Even people within their own “in-group” are at odds in many cases, Christians NOT being exempt from this. Strife abounds, and we don’t have to look far to find turmoil, political and social unrest, religious animosity, rudeness, incivility, and unkindness. The t-shirt and bumper sticker saying rings true: Mean people suck. God calls us to be different though. He calls us to a higher standard–to be kind, even when it’s undeserved. It’s high time we all put on our kindness hats!

Last week I created a resource page with scriptures about kindness and the kindness of God. Those scriptures will serve as a foundation for this post where we’ll discuss some of the characteristics of kindness and what being kind might look like in action, in addition to WHY we should be kind and HOW to be kind, especially when it’s not easy or might not come naturally.

Characteristics of kindness

In many New Testament scriptures about kindness or instructions to be kind, the original Greek language defines some of the characteristics of kindness that are relayed.

Some of the Greek words (stemming from the same root) include “chrestos”, “chrestotes”, and “chresteuomai”. The meanings and characteristics include things like…

    • Kindness, to be kind
    • Gentleness, to be gentle
    • Goodness, to be good
    • Graciousness, to be gracious or offer grace
    • to be considerate and thoughtful of others
    • to show oneself useful (in manner and morals)
    • excellence (in character or demeanor)
    • to act benevolently
    • to be friendly

In some scriptures, and in the original language, the word “kindness” is paired or interchanged with “gentle spirit” (“epiekes” in Greek). This carries the meaning of things like…

    • Gentle
    • Moderation
    • Patient
    • Mild
    • Appropriate (fair, equitable, reasonable)
    • to be considerate
    • to be kind
    • Reasonableness
    • Unselfishness
    • Forbearing Spirit
    • Graciousness
    • Mercy
    • Tolerance

Some verses in different translations can relay and expand in these characteristics and meanings:

“Be kind and helpful to one another, tender-hearted [compassionate, understanding], forgiving one another [readily and freely], just as God in Christ also forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32 (AMP)

“And become useful and helpful and kind to one another, tenderhearted (compassionate, understanding, loving-hearted), forgiving one another [readily and freely], as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32 (AMPC)

“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!” Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT) *See the similar characteristics that go hand in hand with kindness

“Your kindness should be known to all!” Philippians 4:5 (NAB)

“Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon.” Philippians 4:5 (NLT)

“Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.” Philippians 4:5 (NIV)

God turns people around with kindness…We need to take a cue

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Remembering the Tulsa 1921 Race Massacre

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Remembering the Tulsa 1921 Race Massacre

Right now in Tulsa, Oklahoma we are commemorating a very dark part of our city and state’s history, the 100th anniversary of the race massacre that took place in Tulsa on May 31st and June 1st of 1921. I was born and raised in the Tulsa area, yet I was never taught about this horrifying event in school. I didn’t learn of this bleak and shameful part of Tulsa’s history until I was an adult. In fact, I was quite ignorant of it. However, I’ve learned that we cannot let our ignorance further perpetuate injustice.

“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.” Hosea 4:6a (NKJV)

We cannot let our ignorance further perpetuate injustice.

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I mentioned last year, that the more I have educated myself on issues of racial injustice and systemic racism, the more my eyes have been opening and the more empathy I have developed. As my empathy has grown, my internal sense of justice has also increased along with my desire to respond to injustice.

Be a part of the conversation of injustice

I didn’t learn about the race massacre because others were silent. As I’ve also stated before on issues of racial reconciliation, my goal is just to be a part of the conversation and to be a voice instead of remaining silent. I never want my silence about issues of injustice to give people the impression that I am somehow a supporter of injustice or racism. Therefore, I feel it is my obligation to speak up and speak out into my sphere of influence.

Silence in the face of evil quote

Deitrich Bonhoeffer on events of the Holocaust

“Silence in the face of evil is itself evil. God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer

“To say nothing is saying something. You must denounce things you are against or one might believe that you support things you really do not.” Germany Kent

“In the end we will remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

“He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

“There comes a time when silence is betrayal.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

Silence, apathy, and indifference can be a sin.

“Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.” James 4:17 (NLT)

Repentance is required

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Promote Unity

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Promote unity

In last week’s post we talked about God’s desire for unity among his people and his intentions and will for us to be peacemakers. We discussed how that if God desires unity, then we can expect opposition from Satan striving to instigate division and strife. The devil will set up some very tempting traps that can easily and sometimes unknowingly lure us right into division. We previously discussed some ways to evaluate ourselves and our intentions in order to avoid Satan’s traps of engaging in divisive behavior. In this post we’ll address some practical ways to create and promote unity and how to avoid activities or communication that would produce strife or division.

This is by no means an exhaustive or comprehensive list of all of the possible and effective strategies for promoting unity. However, these are a few practical things that we can each start putting into practice right now in our everyday lives as we engage with others. We can all do better to engage in and promote unity with the people we encounter both in person and online.

Unity IS possible…because of Jesus

First we need to realize that the ability to have and promote unity is possible. There can be unity in and because of Jesus Christ. He took two very opposing groups of people and created unity. With Jesus it is possible to remove hostility and bring peace.

“But now you have been united with Christ Jesus. Once you were far away from God, but now you have been brought near to him through the blood of Christ. For Christ himself has brought peace to us. He united Jews and Gentiles into one people when, in his own body on the cross, he broke down the wall of hostility that separated us. He did this by ending the system of law with its commandments and regulations. He made peace between Jews and Gentiles by creating in himself one new people from the two groups. Together as one body, Christ reconciled both groups to God by means of his death on the cross, and our hostility toward each other was put to death.” Ephesians 2:13-16 (NLT)

I loved this quote that I read in one of my Bible reading plans:

“Unity is a keystone element of Jesus’ work on the cross. You have likely experienced the devastatingly divisive power of sin. Sin separates us from God and from each other. But at the cross, Jesus demolished the divisive power of sin. That is why the whole point of Christ’s work was to reconcile that which was pulled apart.

Stories from the book of Acts also show us that God’s work multiplies unity. In so many places throughout Acts, powerful moves of God are associated with believers being of one heart and mind. This unity was not only of a spiritual nature, but also a tangible and visible unity with solutions to real-world problems.

…God is looking for opportunities to multiply unity, because work done in unity among the people of God releases the power of God.”[1]

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A keystone, like unity, holds things together

It mentions that “unity is a keystone element”. A keystone is the central stone at the top of an arch that holds and locks it all together. Keystones reconcile or bring two sides together holding them in a stable position. God did this kind of reconciling on earth through his son, Jesus. Because of what Jesus did we were united back to God and can be united back with people. Operating in unity and peace instead of division, strife, and hostility IS possible!

Love can create and promote unity

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Are You Creating Unity or Division?

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Are You Creating Unity or Division?

The theme of “unity” has come up quite a few times over the past year or more in my readings, journaling, and prayer time. It’s not surprising due to the fact that there has been so much division in the world these days. So many things keep us divided…politics, racial issues, public health issues, gender and sexual identity/orientation issues, theology issues, etc. We truly are a broken world, and only God can mend and unite. He is the source of all unity, and he truly desires unity, not divisiveness.

Unfortunately some of the nastiest and most divisive people are Christians, which I believe saddens God. He wants us to be known by our demonstration of love.

“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:35 (NIV)

I decided to compile my journal notes and scriptures on the matter to write about after experiencing and seeing some divisive interactions myself this past week. This week we’ll look at what God’s heart is on the matter of unity and some ways to measure our hearts and motives against scripture. In the next post, we’ll look at some practical ways to promote unity.

Divisive interactions

I’ve written before that I unfortunately get a lot of hateful emails and comments on my blog, many of them from Christians. I received yet another divisive comment last week (which was not approved/posted since it didn’t adhere to my comment policy). The comment seemed to serve no other purpose than to attempt to cause strife, division, and condemnation. It was definitely not helpful, encouraging, or promoting peace or love in any way to myself or my readers.

Additionally, I saw some other passive-aggressive comments responding to a photo that Beth Moore had posted on Instagram. It was a cute photo that her daughter had taken of her dog crammed in a chair behind Beth while she was trying to read her Bible. Someone had replied with a couple of comments about posting pictures of yourself reading your Bible, indirectly insinuating that maybe these are not genuine and that it puts focus on yourself instead of on God. These comments stirred up quite a storm of conflict, especially amongst Beth Moore’s fans against this commenter. Bam! Division! Strife created; unity gone.

I found myself asking, “Why do people do this? Why do they feel the need to say something…to correct or condemn others…to give their two cents? Do they genuinely think that their comments and interactions are helpful? Do they not see how this fuels a fire of conflict and division? Why do people get sucked in?”

It’s a trap of the devil that so many of us can easily get lured into.

Divisiveness and disunity are a trap of the devil that so many of us can easily get lured into.

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Avoid the trap

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