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Importance of the Right Friends

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Importance of the Right Friends

Importance of the Right Friends

“The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.” (Proverbs 12:26 NIV)

In the previous post we talked about the importance of choosing friends wisely. More specifically, we discussed avoiding unequally yoked friendships. We focused primarily on what it means to be unequally yoked in close relationships. However, we did not spend a lot of time on the reasons why we should avoid these kinds of friendships. Therefore, in this week’s post I’d like to spend more time on the importance of the right friends.

When discussing unequally yoked team animals or draft animals, we mentioned that the mismatch can cause the animals to veer off path or course (even going in circles). The disparity can also lead to burdens on one or both of the animals, a loss of strength and energy, a loss of momentum and forward progression, a slower speed, and basically the animals are working against each other preventing both from completing the tasks set before them.

This is also true when we don’t have relationships with the right friends. Bad friends can endanger our course in life and turn us away from the right direction. They can also cause us undue burdens, deplete our energy and strength (mentally, emotionally, AND spiritually). Not having the right friends can slow us down and hinder our progress in life.

Friends can impact the direction of our life

We must guard our hearts when choosing the right friends. The bible says our hearts determine the course of our life. Therefore, not having the right friends (who affect our heart) can have a tremendous negative impact on the course and direction of our life.

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Proverbs 4:23 (NLT)

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn said, “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” Similarly, there’s another saying that goes, “Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.” Both quotes allude to the power that friendships have on our progress in life and in our future.

Our friendships have significant impact on us. There are negative ramifications and consequences when we don’t have the right friends.

Here are a few listed in scripture: Continue reading →

Unequally Yoked Friendships

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Unequally Yoked Friendships

Unequally Yoked Friendships

“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14 (ESV)

As a college instructor, a church youth small group leader, and a parent of a teen, I get the opportunity to work with a lot of teens and young adults. A frequent conversation that comes up in each of these roles is that of friendships and choosing friends wisely. Even more specifically, we discuss “unequally yoked friendships” and when/why to engage in them or avoid them.

What does unequally yoked actually mean?

The bible often uses agricultural terms due to the relevance to the culture of that time. People could more easily understand spiritual principles when described with an agricultural analogy because it was relatable to something they already knew and understood.

A “yoke” is a wooden crosspiece, harness, or device that is fastened over the necks of two draft animals (usually oxen) and attached to the plow or cart that they are to pull (see the picture at the top of this post). “Yoke” is also a verb meaning to join, link, or unite something. Therefore, to unequally yoke two animals would be to join or link two animals together that are unequal in size, strength, or capability or to link two different kinds of animals (Deuteronomy 22:10).

If a person were to plow a field with unequally yoked animals, we could probably imagine the problems that could arise…uneven plowing or circular plowing, the smaller/weaker animal can’t keep up, the larger/stronger animal gets slowed down, more burden is put on the larger/stronger animal, etc. The uneven match puts the animals at odds with one another preventing them from being able to work together to perform the task set before them.

What does it mean when applied to our relationships and not team animals?

Therefore, as a relational analogy to be unequally yoked refers to linking, joining, or uniting two people that are not likeminded or differ in morals, values, and/or beliefs. Specifically in 2 Corinthians 6:14 it mentions not to be yoked with unbelievers, in other words, not to be spiritually mismatched.

Does it only apply to dating or marriage?

Continue reading →

How to Pray for Unsaved Loved Ones

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How to Pray for Unsaved Loved Ones...specific things to pray and what to expect

How to Pray for Unsaved Loved Ones

“I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. Pray this way for kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peaceful and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity. This is good and pleases God our Savior, who wants everyone to be saved and to understand the truth.” 1 Timothy 2:1-4 (NLT) 

We are instructed to pray for our unsaved loved ones.  Sometimes it’s just hard to know how or what to pray.  I encountered this same problem, so I did some study and research to find the best ways to pray for unsaved loved ones.  I say “unsaved loved ones” but really these things could be prayed even for those who are saved that may have drifted away from God for some reason.

It’s very hard to see someone you love so lost or far from God or even questioning God.  You want so much to help them, to fix them but you inevitably know that it’s not within your control.  To receive Christ and to have a life-changing relationship with God is a personal and individual decision that we can never make for someone else, no matter how badly we want it for them.  We can “plant seeds” (i.e. talk to them in a non-threatening and non-pushy way and/or show example in our own life), and we can pray for them.  The rest is up to them.  God gave us free will.  Jesus Christ is his free gift to us, ours for the taking.  However, a gift demanded or forced is no gift at all.  We don’t have to take it.  Sometimes we want something more for someone than they want it for themselves.  It kind of stinks to feel this way, but guess what…You’re in good company.  That’s how God feels all the time.  All is not hopeless though!  Prayers are extremely powerful!

“…The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” James 5:16b (NLT) 

I have heard numerous people tell stories, my pastor included, that they are where they are today as a result of someone praying for them.  God will go to work on our behalf, but we have to ask.

After studying and researching how and what to pray for unsaved loved ones, I compiled a list of things that I started to use.  I actually wrote the list of what to pray in my notes of my phone and would open it and pray through the list for my unsaved loved ones.  However, you don’t have to pray ALL of these things all of the time.  I have done that, but for the most part I just picked a couple of these things to pray for each day (or whenever my unsaved loved ones came to mind—not necessarily every day).

Take Some Practical Steps to Pray for Unsaved Loved Ones (text in red are example prayers):

Continue reading →