Stay in Your Lane

My family recently took our first ski trip. My husband, Eric, had skied before when he was growing up, but the kids and I had never skied. This was new territory for us. To be very honest, my first experience with skiing was not fabulous. Consequently the majority of my frustrations didn’t even come from the dislike of skiing, but from the pressure and insistence of others who seemingly found it impossible for anyone to dislike skiing. During this whole ordeal I started seeing a biblical parallel…stay in your lane, and I’m not talking about a physical skiing lane although that’s probably a relevant lesson also! 😉

First, ski lessons

I’ll admit that I was a bit apprehensive from the start. Although I love the mountains, I’m not a big fan of cold weather. I’m also not very athletic. Coordination is not a particular skill of mine. For some reason my head knows what to do but my arms, legs, hands, and feet don’t always cooperate. I’m also not particularly fond of falling or getting hurt, which I knew would be inevitable when learning to ski in my mid-40s. I’m not quite as physically resilient as my kiddos.

Nevertheless, I’m a brave soul, so I proceeded with a fairly open mind. My daughter and I signed up for ski lessons (ignoring my husband’s advice to “just watch YouTube videos”). I knew about an hour into our 3 hour lesson that skiing was NOT for me. However, I pressed on with the lesson. After all, what kind of message would I be sending to my daughter to start something and not finish it? I’m not a quitter, and I don’t like to be defeated. That being said though, I typically know my boundaries and my personal preferences. I quickly learned that I did not like skiing, no matter how hard I tried to master the skill.

I opted not to ski the rest of day. Instead, I just enjoyed observing. The next day, I attempted the bunny slopes again. Then, against my better judgement, I allowed my husband to convince me to graduate up to the next size slope. Let’s just say a crash was involved, which resulted in a hurt elbow and knee and me removing my skis and marching the rest of the way down instead. That ended my attempts at skiing for the rest of the trip, even though in hindsight it’s kind of a funny memory now.

Why is it NOT okay for me to dislike skiing?!

The main problem I encountered though was not my inability to ski or my lack of love for it but instead the confrontations of people who insisted on my love and appreciation of skiing. It seemed unfathomable to some people that I just didn’t like it. I was consistently being pressured to keep trying, don’t give up, you’ll get the hang of it, you’ll like it if you just keep trying, you just need to overcome your fear, and on and on. I felt like people were trying to force me to do something that I KNEW internally was just not me, not in my wheelhouse, and not a part of my preferences. Why couldn’t people just understand that?!

To me it’s kind of like eating salmon. I don’t care how many times I try it (and believe me I keep trying it over and over…for years) or how it’s prepared, I hate salmon. It triggers my gag reflex. Bleh! Or…like running. You know those people that live for the next 5K or marathon? I’m not one of those either. I love walking. Running…not so much….unless something is chasing me. But then again, you have those people who insist on running being the best, most exhilarating form of exercise, and they want everyone else to love it just as much as they do. Have you ever met those people?

Maybe not everyone is a skier. Maybe some people are skiers, and some are runners, and maybe some are just observers or hikers or fisherman (another situation where I’d rather just sit and observe or ride along and read a book). Could it possibly be that maybe, just maybe, everyone can have different preferences, and hobbies, and roles? Might it not work out even better if people were different and had different tastes and different talents? Wouldn’t it be HORRIBLE if everyone were exactly the same?!

Stay in your lane—know and operate within your particular preferences, place, gifts, and talents

As I was pondering all of these annoyances and frustrations of being pressured to do, try, and like things that others insisted that I do, try, or like, I started to think of a biblical analogy. The idea: Know your lane. Stay in your lane.

Definition: Stay in your lane—stick to what you know and what you are good at.

We are all different…on purpose. God uses differences in us to have us all work together as one body. It would be ridiculous and completely ineffective to have cookie-cutter humans. If everyone had the same preferences, hobbies, gifts and talents this world would be quite boring and unproductive.

Instead we all have different likes and dislikes, different roles and purposes, and different areas of giftings.

I love what Beth Jones says about how worker ants stay in their lane and operate within their particular assignment.

“Do You Stay In Your Lane? Ants have the intuitive sense of their place, rank and role in the ant kingdom. The Queen knows her role. The worker ants stay in their lane and operate within their particular assignment. They don’t have captains, supervisors or leaders; nevertheless, they know how to find and fulfill their place. How about you? Do you know your place, rank and role? Have you learned to stay in your lane? Today, consider the ant!”^[1]

“Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest.” Proverbs 6:6-8 (NIV)

“There are four things on earth that are small but unusually wise: Ants—they aren’t strong, but they store up food all summer.” Proverbs 30:24-25 (NLT)

Stay in your lane with your gifts, talents, and purpose…and realize that the differences are complementary

I mentioned in a previous post that God has given each and every person here on this earth a unique set of gifts and a purpose to fulfill.  Each gift and purpose is vital to God’s plan.  In fact, the Bible uses the analogy of a body and its different parts to demonstrate this point.  Each part of the body is necessary in order for the body to function properly (as God intended), and each God-given gift, role, and purpose is necessary in order for God’s kingdom, or the “body of Christ”, to function properly.

We are the body of Christ, and just as a body has many parts, so does the body of Christ.  The parts are placed exactly where God wants them (1 Corinthians 12:18).  Our gifts are part of this body.  There are a lot of them, and they all have different functions.  They all work together as part of a whole.  Every part is necessary.  We need all of the parts, just like God needs all of our gifts.

“Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other. In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well…” Romans 12:4-6 (NLT)

We shouldn’t compare the gifts that we don’t have to the gifts of others, wishing for something we lack. In contrast, we also shouldn’t push the gifts that we possess onto others insinuating that others are lacking something because they don’t have that gift too. Both positions are wrong according to scripture. Each of us has special functions, purposes, and preferences, and they are meant to complement one another…not to compete, conform, or duplicate.

Stay in your lane–Be what you were made to be, without trying to be something you’re not

“In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. The body we’re talking about is Christ’s body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn’t amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ’s body, let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren’t.

If you preach, just preach God’s Message, nothing else; if you help, just help, don’t take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching; if you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don’t get bossy; if you’re put in charge, don’t manipulate; if you’re called to give aid to people in distress, keep your eyes open and be quick to respond; if you work with the disadvantaged, don’t let yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face.” Romans 12:4-8 (MSG)

Stay in your lane—Be your own unique “body part” and celebrate the differences

“Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ.  For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.

Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 

If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.” 1 Corinthians 12:12-20 (NIV)

Take Some Practical Steps to Stay in Your Lane:

• First, stop pressuring people to be what they’re not!

Not everyone has to be like you, like the same things you like, or do the same things you do. God made them different…and that’s okay. If it’s not in opposition to scripture, I’m sure God would be fine with them having their own, individual preferences. As far as I know, there’s not a “Thou shalt love skiing, running, fishing, and salmon.” (Feel free to insert your own distaste or dislike!)

“Forget about deciding what’s right for each other. Here’s what you need to be concerned about: that you don’t get in the way of someone else, making life more difficult than it already is.” Romans 14:13 (MSG)

“Keep the convictions you have about these matters between yourself and God, and don’t impose them upon others. You’ll be happy when you don’t judge yourself in doing what your conscience approves.” Romans 14:22 (TPT) *Read Romans 14:13-23 about imposing your personal preferences and convictions on others

• Then, know what YOUR lane is and then stay in it!

Do you know what your gifts, talents, and purpose are? If not, start the discovery process! Here are a few posts to get you started…

You Have God-Given Gifts

Become a Detective to Discover Your Gifts

Ask God About Your Gifts And Purpose

• Finally, know that your lane is not the same as others’ lanes, and focus on your own lane.

Celebrate your differences and recognize they are all different parts that work together and complement one another to make up the larger, whole body. Be what God made you to be, and quit trying to be something you’re not. In other words…Stay in YOUR lane!

Do you have a “stay in your lane” story? Share it with us by leaving a comment below!

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If you know anyone that could benefit from this, please pay it forward!  Share this post via the sharing links below.  “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV)

1. Jones, Beth. “Consider the Ant.” iDisciple.Org, The Basics with Beth, www.idisciple.org/post/consider-the-ant. ↑