How to Overcome Feeling Unloved or Unwanted
**Please read the companion posts too: How to Recognize Love and Feel Loved by Others, and subsequent posts on What If God’s Love Isn’t Enough? and Recognizing God’s Love by Building Your Relationship with Him–Part 1 and Part 2.
Feeling unloved or unwanted is one of the 9 Common Causes of Insecurity that we previously discussed. When we feel loved, we tend to feel good about ourselves. The opposite is true too, and that’s why we can become insecure (click here to read more posts on overcoming insecurity and poor self-esteem and how to realize your true value/worth). There might be several reasons for someone feeling unloved. Below are some examples of the types of people who might sometimes feel unloved or unwanted.
People who might feel unloved–You might see yourself in one or more of these examples.
- Those from a family of divorce
- Those who have gone through a divorce themselves
- Those on the receiving end of infidelity
- Those who have lost a job
- Adopted children
- Those on the receiving end of a breakup
- Those living in a dysfunctional family
- Those from a family of absentee parents
- Those from an abusive home or situation
- Victims of sexual abuse
- Those who have made a lot of mistakes (or feel like they’ve messed up so bad they don’t deserve to be loved)
- Those who have difficulty finding a significant other
- Those who have experienced rejection in any form
An unloved girl in the bible
In the bible, Leah was married to Jacob, but she was not his first choice as a wife. Her father actually deceived Jacob into thinking that he was marrying Leah’s sister, Rachel. Jacob eventually did marry Rachel too, and he favored her above Leah. Leah felt unloved by her husband (and rightly so) which made her insecure and believe that if she gave her husband children then he might finally love her.
“So Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, “The lord has noticed my misery, and now my husband will love me.”” Genesis 29:32 (NLT)
Come to the understanding that you are loved and wanted by God
People often try to overcome feeling unloved the same way Leah did—by trying to earn it. Continue reading →
