Category Archives: Communication

Unmet Needs and Expectations in Relationships

Learn more about Unmet Needs and Expectations in Relationships...and how to evaluate them

Unmet Needs and Expectations in Relationships

My sister just shared a story with me that she saw on Facebook, and I’d like to share it with you here too.  I didn’t write this story, and unfortunately I do not know the author in order to give due credit.  You may have already heard or read this story because it has been reposted on the internet a number of times over the past few years.  It’s a story of unmet needs and expectations in marriage.  I loved it so much because I think so many people can relate.

A Story of Unmet Needs and Expectations…

My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders. Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings. I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband is my complete opposite. His lack of sensitivity and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

“Why?” he asked, shocked. “I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times. My feeling of disappointment only increased. Here was a man who can’t even express his predicament. What else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me, “What can I do to change your mind?”

Somebody said it right–it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered, “Here is the question. If you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind. Let’s say I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death. Will you do it for me?” He said, “I will give you your answer tomorrow….” My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and I saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting underneath a milk glass on the dining table near the front door, that goes… “My dear, I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further…” This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading. Continue reading

God Talks Like Bumblebee the Transformer

See how God talks like Bumblebee the Transformer...

God Talks Like Bumblebee the Transformer 

“And He said, Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord. And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of gentle stillness and a still, small voice.”  1 Kings 19:11-12 (AMP)

It feels weird to say that God speaks to me or that God told me something.  I often wonder if people think I’m a little crazy when I say things like that!  I don’t hear voices in my head, and I’ve never heard an audible voice.  It’s just simply my own thoughts that sometimes seem to come out of nowhere or reading a word or phrase in one or more bible verses that just seem to stick out for some reason.  In the bible, God spoke to Elijah.  It says in 1 Kings 19:11-12 that there was a strong wind but the Lord was not in the wind, and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake, and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire and after the fire was a still, small voice which was the Lord’s.  Many times I think that people believe that if God is going to speak to us it is going to be a big, grand ordeal, but that is rarely the case. 

Here’s one picture that comes to my mind when I think of how God talks to us…that God talks like Bumblebee the Transformer. 🙂  In the Transformers movies, you know how Bumblebee used to talk to Sam?  He used parts of songs on the radio or audio clips to get what he wanted to say across to Sam because he couldn’t actually talk to him since his voice box had been damaged.  It was funny because he would actually take different parts of different verses and choruses from various songs or audio clips or quotes from movies and piece them together to form his message.

That’s kind of how God talks to us sometimes.  God talks like Bumblebee in that He uses bit and pieces of things to get messages across to us at times.  Sometimes He uses different verses, or parts of verses, out of the Bible.  Sometimes it’s the same words or phrases repeated in different verses of the bible that we come across.  Other times He uses our thoughts or even other people.  God can speak to us in many ways—often with just one word or a phrase.  Sometimes He’ll speak to us through our surroundings—it may be a bumper sticker or billboard, a song on the radio, something we read online, an overheard conversation or something on TV.  Sometimes we’ll come across a repeated theme in various areas (i.e. you might hear a church sermon, hear a song and/or read a devotion that all seem to coincidentally have the same message or theme).

God talks like Bumblebee because Continue reading

How to Pray for Unsaved Loved Ones

How to Pray for Unsaved Loved Ones...specific things to pray and what to expect

How to Pray for Unsaved Loved Ones

“I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. Pray this way for kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peaceful and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity. This is good and pleases God our Savior, who wants everyone to be saved and to understand the truth.” 1 Timothy 2:1-4 (NLT) 

We are instructed to pray for our unsaved loved ones.  Sometimes it’s just hard to know how or what to pray.  I encountered this same problem, so I did some study and research to find the best ways to pray for unsaved loved ones.  I say “unsaved loved ones” but really these things could be prayed even for those who are saved that may have drifted away from God for some reason.

It’s very hard to see someone you love so lost or far from God or even questioning God.  You want so much to help them, to fix them but you inevitably know that it’s not within your control.  To receive Christ and to have a life-changing relationship with God is a personal and individual decision that we can never make for someone else, no matter how badly we want it for them.  We can “plant seeds” (i.e. talk to them in a non-threatening and non-pushy way and/or show example in our own life), and we can pray for them.  The rest is up to them.  God gave us free will.  Jesus Christ is his free gift to us, ours for the taking.  However, a gift demanded or forced is no gift at all.  We don’t have to take it.  Sometimes we want something more for someone than they want it for themselves.  It kind of stinks to feel this way, but guess what…You’re in good company.  That’s how God feels all the time.  All is not hopeless though!  Prayers are extremely powerful!

“…The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” James 5:16b (NLT) 

I have heard numerous people tell stories, my pastor included, that they are where they are today as a result of someone praying for them.  God will go to work on our behalf, but we have to ask.

After studying and researching how and what to pray for unsaved loved ones, I compiled a list of things that I started to use.  I actually wrote the list of what to pray in my notes of my phone and would open it and pray through the list for my unsaved loved ones.  However, you don’t have to pray ALL of these things all of the time.  I have done that, but for the most part I just picked a couple of these things to pray for each day (or whenever my unsaved loved ones came to mind—not necessarily every day).

Take Some Practical Steps to Pray for Unsaved Loved Ones (text in red are example prayers):

Continue reading

Top 10 Posts of 2014

Happy, Healthy & Prosperous: Top 10 Posts of 2014

The New Year is here!  We had a stellar year in 2014 (of course with ups and downs).  This time last year this blog was just a passing thought in my head.  OK…it was actually a suggestion command from God that I reluctantly accepted over several months (didn’t get my site up and running until July!).  Overall, though I’m so glad I obeyed God.  I feel honored to be used to speak into the lives of people and hopefully share a little bit of insight of practical ways to achieve Godly success in a variety of areas.  This past week I did a year-in-review and checked on my site’s progress.  This week, I thought I’d share the Top 10 Posts of 2014 with you in case you missed any or would like to revisit them.

TOP 10 POSTS OF 2014:

  1. What Does Your Price Tag Say? A Message on Self-Worth…

    What Does Your Price Tag Say? A Message on Self Worth...

    Top 10 Posts of 2014 #1

Our value is not determined by labels that others put on us or by even by labels we put on ourselves.  This post gives some resources and tips on overcoming the negative labels we wear and some tips for creating new ones.

  1. 9 Common Causes of Insecurity

    9 Common Causes of Insecurity

    Top 10 Posts of 2014 #2

Most people deal with insecurity in one form or another.  This post addresses 9 common causes of insecurity with examples of each in scripture.  I share some of my personal struggles with insecurity.

  1. How to Apologize Effectively

    How to Apologize Effectively

    Top 10 Posts of 2014 #3

Continue reading

What 15 Years of Marriage Has Taught Me…

What 15 Years of Marriage Has Taught Me...Just a few things we've learned over the years

What 15 Years of Marriage Has Taught Me…Just a few things we’ve learned over the years…

By Eric & Tracy Robbins

“So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”  Matthew 19:6 (NIV)

Eric and I just recently celebrated our 15 year wedding anniversary.  I thought it might be fun to share what 15 years of marriage has taught me.  So I invited Eric to write this post with me to share some of the things we’ve learned over the years.  Some things are fun, and some are serious.

One of the first things that 15 years of marriage has taught me is that when you’ve been married this long and have gone through a lot together, you’ll do some crazy stuff!  In honor of our anniversary we decided to celebrate by getting “ring tattoos”.  A friend of mine said, “Pain to symbolize the pain of 15 years?” 🙂 Like many marriages, we really have had our fair share of pain though.  I’d do it all over again, pain and all–that’s how much I love this man!

What 15 years of marriage has taught me... You'll do some crazy stuff together, like get ring tattoos to celebrate!

15 years celebrated with ring tattoos–Shout out to Josh at Davis Street Tattoo in Dallas for taking such great care of us!

 What 15 years of marriage has taught me – Eric:

  • That you shouldn’t joke or say things facetiously that are negative to your spouse.
  • That when your wife knows she’s right, you probably shouldn’t bet against her…be it music artists, a certain date or a sitcom theme song from the ‘80s. 🙂
  • That when you’re at a restaurant and you order something that looks good, your wife will want a bite.
  • That when you have a nice sweatshirt that’s comfortable, your wife is going to want to wear it.
  • That it’s very beneficial to identify your wife’s love language and use it. This will only work to your benefit—showing them love in their love language, not just your own.  (see this post here)
  • That when your wife is tired, hungry or hormonal, you should just back off and give her some space. And definitely don’t say anything about why you think she might be so cranky.
  • That sports aren’t the most important thing in life. (Tracy just said, “Yeah, apparently you have to have time for hunting and fishing too!”)  After watching football on Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Thursday, maybe you shouldn’t watch the World Championships of Curling on Friday…might be best just to let that one go.
  • That when your wife says, “I don’t care”, it really means, “no”.

Continue reading

How to Recognize Love and Feel Loved by Others

Learn how to recognize love and feel loved by others

How to Recognize Love and Feel Loved by Others

**Please read the companion post too: How to Overcome Feeling Unloved or Unwanted.

Last week we talked about how to overcome feeling unloved or unwanted.  We focused primarily on how to know that we are loved and wanted by God.  I truly believe that is the first step in overcoming this kind of insecurity in order to feel loved and wanted.  Once we realize that God truly loves us and wants us, it’s much easier to believe and recognize that we are loved by others in our life.

“We understand what love is when we realize that Christ gave his life for us. That means we must give our lives for other believers.” 1 John 3:16 (GW)

Sometimes we feel like the people in our life don’t love or want us.  There’s a possibility that might be a reality to an extent (like it was for Leah when Jacob preferred Rachel—Genesis 29).  In most cases though, it’s our perception that is flawed.  The reality is that we ARE loved.  We just don’t recognize it.  Just because we don’t FEEL loved doesn’t mean we aren’t.  Just because it SEEMS like someone doesn’t care, DOES NOT mean they don’t. 

This even happened to Jesus when he was sleeping on a boat during a storm (Mark 4:35-41), and his disciples thought that he didn’t care about them since he was sleeping… Continue reading

How to Lead Someone to Christ

Learn how to lead someone to Christ here...

How to Lead Someone to Christ

Knowing how to lead someone to Christ may seem like a no-brainer to some.  However, for me this was an issue that made me extremely nervous.  I was always afraid I wouldn’t do it right.  Even though I had seen and heard people be led to the Lord countless times in church, I still questioned myself on how to do it.  To be honest, I hadn’t had much experience personally on how to lead someone to Christ.  I had only led my kids through the prayer and a couple of their little friends (it’s a lot less threatening with kids for some reason!).

One time though, I had the opportunity to lead a very special friend through the process.  Talk about being a hot mess!  I was terrified.  This was the most important decision that they would ever make in their life, and I didn’t want to screw them up.  We said a prayer out loud together (I had them repeat after me).  To be completely honest, I really don’t even know what I said because I was such a nervous wreck.  In my efforts to make sure we did it correctly, I pulled out my iPhone, opened my Bible app, and read Romans 10:9.  Then, I googled how to lead someone to Christ just to double check!  I know…I’m a goofball sometimes! 🙂  I felt a lot better because it really was as easy as it seemed.  For some reason though, it just didn’t seem like it should be that easy.

In an effort to help you, should you ever find yourself in this situation, I would like to share with you how to lead someone to Christ.  Continue reading