Tag Archives: self-discovery

Stay in Your Lane

Stay in Your Lane title image

Stay in Your Lane

My family recently took our first ski trip. My husband, Eric, had skied before when he was growing up, but the kids and I had never skied. This was new territory for us. To be very honest, my first experience with skiing was not fabulous. Consequently the majority of my frustrations didn’t even come from the dislike of skiing, but from the pressure and insistence of others who seemingly found it impossible for anyone to dislike skiing. During this whole ordeal I started seeing a biblical parallel…stay in your lane, and I’m not talking about a physical skiing lane although that’s probably a relevant lesson also! 😉

First, ski lessons

I’ll admit that I was a bit apprehensive from the start. Although I love the mountains, I’m not a big fan of cold weather. I’m also not very athletic. Coordination is not a particular skill of mine. For some reason my head knows what to do but my arms, legs, hands, and feet don’t always cooperate. I’m also not particularly fond of falling or getting hurt, which I knew would be inevitable when learning to ski in my mid-40s. I’m not quite as physically resilient as my kiddos.

Pre Crash photo

This was my last time on skis

Nevertheless, I’m a brave soul, so I proceeded with a fairly open mind. My daughter and I signed up for ski lessons (ignoring my husband’s advice to “just watch YouTube videos”). I knew about an hour into our 3 hour lesson that skiing was NOT for me. However, I pressed on with the lesson. After all, what kind of message would I be sending to my daughter to start something and not finish it? I’m not a quitter, and I don’t like to be defeated. That being said though, I typically know my boundaries and my personal preferences. I quickly learned that I did not like skiing, no matter how hard I tried to master the skill.

I opted not to ski the rest of day. Instead, I just enjoyed observing. The next day, I attempted the bunny slopes again. Then, against my better judgement, I allowed my husband to convince me to graduate up to the next size slope. Let’s just say a crash was involved, which resulted in a hurt elbow and knee and me removing my skis and marching the rest of the way down instead. That ended my attempts at skiing for the rest of the trip, even though in hindsight it’s kind of a funny memory now.

Why is it NOT okay for me to dislike skiing?!

The main problem I encountered though was not my inability to ski or my lack of love for it but instead the confrontations of people who insisted on my love and appreciation of skiing. It seemed unfathomable to some people that I just didn’t like it. I was consistently being pressured to keep trying, don’t give up, you’ll get the hang of it, you’ll like it if you just keep trying, you just need to overcome your fear, and on and on. I felt like people were trying to force me to do something that I KNEW internally was just not me, not in my wheelhouse, and not a part of my preferences. Why couldn’t people just understand that?!

To me it’s kind of like eating salmon. I don’t care how many times I try it (and believe me I keep trying it over and over…for years) or how it’s prepared, I hate salmon. It triggers my gag reflex. Bleh! Or…like running. You know those people that live for the next 5K or marathon? I’m not one of those either. I love walking. Running…not so much….unless something is chasing me. But then again, you have those people who insist on running being the best, most exhilarating form of exercise, and they want everyone else to love it just as much as they do. Have you ever met those people?

Maybe not everyone is a skier. Maybe some people are skiers, and some are runners, and maybe some are just observers or hikers or fisherman (another situation where I’d rather just sit and observe or ride along and read a book). Could it possibly be that maybe, just maybe, everyone can have different preferences, and hobbies, and roles? Might it not work out even better if people were different and had different tastes and different talents? Wouldn’t it be HORRIBLE if everyone were exactly the same?!

Stay in your lane—know and operate within your particular preferences, place, gifts, and talents

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Become a Detective to Discover Your Gifts

You may not automatically know what our gifts and purpose are. However, it is your responsibility to discover them! It’s going to take some craftiness though. You’ll have to start a process of self-discovery and searching. In a sense, you will need to become a detective! You will need to start looking for “clues” to solve your case—the case to discover your gifts.

Become a Detective to Discover Your Gifts

We’ve talked off and on lately about how God has given each of us gifts and how to discover your gifts. I recently spoke at a women’s conference about this very subject. This week, I’d like to share with you some of the first steps to discover your gifts that I shared with them.

You may not automatically know what our gifts and purpose are. However, it is your responsibility to discover them! It’s going to take some craftiness though. You’ll have to start a process of self-discovery and searching. In a sense, you will need to become a detective! You will need to start looking for “clues” to solve your case—the case to discover your gifts. 

Now, I will tell you that it’s not something that is quick, nor will you discover your gifts overnight. It’s going to be a process that takes some time. You also may not get the full picture right away, maybe only bits and pieces at a time OVER time.  Much like a detective doesn’t always solve a crime right away.

Become a good detective

First of all, to be a good detective, you have to document everything. You have to write things down and go back to them to look for clues, patterns, and themes. A detective can’t remember everything. Therefore, a notebook is extremely important in order for them to document their journey and solve the case.

This is no different for you when you are on the case to discover your gifts. Like a good detective, YOU will need a notebook or a journal to write your discoveries down. You need to take notes along the way, and answer questions. Continue reading