Tag Archives: Self-Esteem

Overcome Insecurity From the Inside Out

Overcome Insecurity From the Inside Out

Overcome Insecurity From the Inside Out

Recently I’ve been sharing a lot on how to overcome insecurity in both class settings and youth group. I’ve written on this topic quite a bit in the past. Dealing with insecurity and learning to overcome insecurity has been something that I’ve struggled with for a significant portion of my life, and honestly something that I still struggle with from time to time. I, myself, have to revisit these same strategies and principles as refreshers and reminders.

My goal today is to give some refreshers and also provide some helpful resources (mostly videos and posts) that can be used, saved, and revisited again later (just as I have to do occasionally).

Overcome Insecurity From the Inside Out

I think the most important thing to remember when battling insecurity is that the change must be internal. We have to overcome insecurity from the inside out. The problem lies within our hearts and within our minds and thought life. We cannot fix insecurity that resides inside of us by merely doing things on the outside. True security flows from the inside out.

“It’s not what goes into your body that defiles you; you are defiled by what comes from your heart.” Mark 7:15 (NLT)

The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? But I, the LORD, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve.” Jeremiah 7:9-10 (NLT)

“Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out…” Psalm 139:13a (MSG)

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” Romans 12:2 (NLT)

“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” Ephesians 4:22-24 (NIV)

Take Some Practical Steps to Overcome Insecurity From The Inside Out:

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Masterpiece throwback

 

Masterpiece throwback

Hello friends!

I apologize for the delay in my post this week. This week I’m actually going to push an easy button, and give you a link to a post I wrote a few years ago. I have several new subscribers, so I thought I’d do a masterpiece throwback to one of my original posts that most of my newer subscribers probably have not seen yet.

This post is called You Are a Masterpiece. Even if you have already read this, we could all use a refresher about how God sees us, right!?

You Are a Masterpiece! Are you insulting your creator?

You Are a Masterpiece!

You Are a Masterpiece! Are you insulting your creator?

Additionally, here’s a video of me speaking on this same topic at a women’s conference in 2015. I spoke there to share about seeing yourself the way God sees you. My goal during this session was to help you learn about insecurities and how to start to overcome them, how to find your identity in Christ, and to give some practical steps to start to improve your self-esteem and self-talk.

P.S.  If you liked this post, you might enjoy receiving new posts delivered right to your inbox each week!  Sign up here

If you know anyone that could benefit from this, please pay it forward!  Share this post via the sharing links below.  “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV)

Stay Healthy—Love Yourself!

Stay Healthy—Love Yourself! Try this exercise to show yourself some love...

Stay Healthy—Love Yourself!

Previously, when I attended a Weight Watchers meeting we talked about ways to love yourself (and NOT the Justin Bieber kind of “Love Yourself”!). We did a fun name acronym activity.  We were supposed to come up with a positive attribute or descriptive word for each letter of our first name. It was funny how so many people had such a hard time with that.  They had a hard time either coming up with words that were positive to describe themselves, or they didn’t want to say them out loud because they felt like they were being arrogant or bragging.  Our leader was trying to encourage them that this is the right time to brag and that it was actually helpful to love yourself.

I wanted to yell out, “Don’t you know that God thinks that of you and sees you that way?!”  Then I realized that I wasn’t reading mine out loud either.  Oops.  It can be hard to love yourself sometimes and then especially to show that you love yourself out loud!  We’ve been trained not to speak highly of ourselves because we may come across as cocky and arrogant.  However, I think there are two ditches.  On the one side is the ditch where we ARE arrogant and speak and think too highly of ourselves.  This is obviously wrong.

“For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.” Romans 12:3 (NIV)

I like how the NLT translation of the verse reads though because it says “…Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us”.  It doesn’t say we can’t say or think good things about ourselves.  It just says we just need to give an honest evaluation by God’s measurement.  We need to see, think, and speak about ourselves based on how God sees us.  And guess what?  He does think we’re pretty great.  Therefore, we need to see ourselves as pretty great too! 

The other ditch is Continue reading

Top 10 Posts of 2015

Happy, Healthy & Prosperous Top 10 Posts of 2015

Top 10 Posts of 2015

“Remember the wondrous works that he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he uttered” Psalms 105:5 (ESV)

This week I’m sharing the Top 10 Posts of 2015I like to take the first of the year to recount some of the top or most popular posts of the previous year.  I like to share them for a couple of reasons…

First, there are several new subscribers/followers who may not have seen or read these posts and might find some of them to be helpful.

Secondly, looking back also helps me to remember what God has done and is still doing through this website (that I oh-so-reluctantly started…and sometimes still reluctantly continue!).

Lastly, it helps me (and hopefully you too) know how to pray based on what the current need or demand is, and when I know that I know how to continue to pray for others.  For example, 3 of the most popular posts have to do with leading someone to Christ or praying for someone to come to Christ.  For starters this makes me SUPER excited to know that people are actively seeking these types of websites out.  To me this means that the body of Christ is continuing to grow, and I know to continue to pray for the people who have come across these posts to have boldness to lead someone to the Lord and to agree in prayer with them that their unsaved loved ones will be saved and grow in their relationship with God.  Another example, is that the posts about being unloved and unwanted are overwhelmingly popular…which makes me so sad to know that there are so many people feeling unloved and unwanted.  I continue to pray that they will know and fully experience the love of God and of others.

Take Some Practical Steps:

  • As you look through this list of most popular posts, please take a minute to pray for one or more of the topics that stand out to you (like my examples above).
  • Please click on and read or re-read one or more of the posts from which you feel you may be able to receive some benefit or of which you might need some reminding.
  • Pay it forward…if one or more of the following posts has benefited you, please forward it/them to others you feel they may benefit (you might prayerfully consider who to share them with), or consider sharing them on your social media channels (sharing links are available at the end of each post).
  • Lastly, please pray for me this year to #1-continue to help others, #2-for me to have to right words at the right time, and #3-for the right people to be directed to my site for God to help them.

Top 10 Posts of 2015

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Recognizing God’s Love By Building Your Relationship With Him–Part 1

Learn how to start Recognizing God’s Love By Building Your Relationship With Him--Part 1

Recognizing God’s Love By Building Your Relationship With Him–Part 1

**Read Part 2 here

With any relationship, you need to build it by spending time with one another and learning more about each other.  This is how love grows.  Our relationship with God is no different.  We need to spend time with him and learn about him in order to cultivate and grow love in that relationship.  It’s also a process that doesn’t happen overnight or even in a week.

This week’s post is another response to a comment that I received on a previous post, “How to Overcome Feeling Unloved or Unwanted”.  Some responses just take more than a quick reply if I’m doing them justice.  My prayer is that I can give this hurting person some hope and guidance to further recognize God’s love by learning how to build relationship with him.

Reader’s Comment:

“I’m 59, and to this day still feel unloved. I believe what you say about God’s love for us. I can’t seem to sit and really spend time with him. I do talk to Him all day here and there. I know in my mind He loves me but the rest of me doesn’t. I’m so insure from lack of feeling love I push people away. I hate it. I have five kids whom I love so much along with 9 grandkids. At this point I prefer to be dead, but I don’t want to give up. I want to know true love (not from a man at this point divorced twice) and happiness here on earth before I die. Are there places to go for a week or 2 for adults to get away and have bible studies or spiritual help?”

Quick answer…

As a quick answer to the question asked about getaways for bible studies and spiritual help… Continue reading

Overcome Insecurity Caused by a Tragic Circumstance or Incident

Overcome Insecurity Caused by a Tragic Circumstance or Incident

Overcome Insecurity Caused by a Tragic Circumstance or Incident 

Sadly many of us have had the misfortune of dealing with a tragic circumstance or incident in our lives which can lead to insecurities and affect our self-esteem and self-worth.  Painful and traumatic experiences can affect our identity and how we view ourselves.  Tamar in the bible had to deal with a tragic circumstance of being raped by her half-brother, Amnon, and she felt shame and lived in desolation thereafter.

“But Amnon wouldn’t listen to her, and since he was stronger than she was, he raped her … But now Tamar tore her robe and put ashes on her head. And then, with her face in her hands, she went away crying … so Tamar lived as a desolate woman in her brother Absalom’s house.” 2 Samuel 13:14, 19, 20b (NLT)  

There are a variety of traumatic experiences that could affect our perceived worth and value.  Death is a tragic circumstance that can sometimes cause low self-esteem.  When we lose someone close to us, we not only lose that person but we lose the role that we played with that person which can sometimes affect our self-worth.  We could potentially have feelings of insignificance, uncertainty, vulnerability, fear of the future, feeling of no longer being needed, etc.  These same types of feelings can accompany a divorce (a death of sorts) and even a traumatic health problem or injury (cancer, debilitating injury, etc.) in addition to insecurities about appearances if they have been altered in any way.  God HATES death and sickness and the pain and negative side effects that accompany them.  God wants to set us free from these and heal us (physically and emotionally).

“And the last enemy to be destroyed is death.” 1 Corinthians 15:26 (NLT)

“Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.” Isaiah 53:4-5 (NIV)

Abuse (emotional, physical or sexual) is a tragic circumstance that can make us feel like we have little value.  It can lead to feelings that we are “damaged goods” or guilt that maybe we deserved the abuse somehow.  Many people that have suffered abuse start to believe the lie that they are worthless and aren’t deserving of love and affection.  God HATES abuse.  He wants to protect and avenge us from this.

“The LORD examines both the righteous and the wicked. He hates those who love violence.” Psalm 11:5 (NLT)

Infidelity (emotional, physical, or pornographic) is definitely a tragic circumstance that affects one’s self-esteem and one’s worth and value.  Often those on the receiving end of infidelity feel that if they were “enough” then the infidelity wouldn’t have happened.  This can lead to feelings of being unloved or unwanted as well as leading to comparisons with the other person(s) involved (i.e. affair partners or pornographic images).  The unfaithful person also struggles with negative feelings—especially guilt and a low sense of self-worth because of the pain that they have caused their loved one.  God HATES infidelity and the pain of the aftermath that it causes.  He wants to restore and heal people in these situations.

“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” Hebrews 13:4 (NIV)

“But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:28 (NLT)

I’m sure there are many, many other examples of traumatic incidents that lead to insecurity other than the few examples I’ve given here.  Ultimately God hates them all.  He wants to free us from the pain that they cause.  He wants us to see ourselves the way HE sees us and get an accurate view of our self-worth and value.  

If you are a victim of a tragic circumstance, God wants you to know: Continue reading

Feeling Rejected? Shake That Dirt Off Your Sandal

Feeling Rejected?  Shake That Dirt Off Your Sandal.

Feeling Rejected?  Shake That Dirt Off Your Sandal

We’ve been talking a lot lately about insecurities.  For most people it’s an ongoing struggle, myself included.  Even though I’ve grown tremendously in knowing my value and my worth and seeing myself the way God sees me, I still have feelings of insecurity from time to time.  I still have to use the same strategies and practical steps that I share with you in order to help myself.

Take this past week for example.  I had a reader unsubscribe from my blog which led to some feelings of rejection and being unwanted/unliked.  I actually had mixed feelings about it.  I was a little relieved because I don’t think this person really ever read my posts anyway, and it appeared to hurt my numbers or analytics on my subscriber list of “opened posts” (not that this is really that big of a deal, but these analytics could have bearing on my credibility with affiliates, etc.).  At the same time though, I felt a little hurt and offended.  I KNOW better than to feel this way, and I KNOW this person probably had perfectly good and acceptable reasons and never intentionally meant to hurt me.  It still just smarts a little.  It feels like somebody was saying to me, “I don’t like your stuff!”

I reached out to my sister, Shawna, to share my feelings and get some encouragement.  She replied with the perfect message that really helped me (my words in italics)… Continue reading

Top 10 Posts of 2014

Happy, Healthy & Prosperous: Top 10 Posts of 2014

The New Year is here!  We had a stellar year in 2014 (of course with ups and downs).  This time last year this blog was just a passing thought in my head.  OK…it was actually a suggestion command from God that I reluctantly accepted over several months (didn’t get my site up and running until July!).  Overall, though I’m so glad I obeyed God.  I feel honored to be used to speak into the lives of people and hopefully share a little bit of insight of practical ways to achieve Godly success in a variety of areas.  This past week I did a year-in-review and checked on my site’s progress.  This week, I thought I’d share the Top 10 Posts of 2014 with you in case you missed any or would like to revisit them.

TOP 10 POSTS OF 2014:

  1. What Does Your Price Tag Say? A Message on Self-Worth…

    What Does Your Price Tag Say? A Message on Self Worth...

    Top 10 Posts of 2014 #1

Our value is not determined by labels that others put on us or by even by labels we put on ourselves.  This post gives some resources and tips on overcoming the negative labels we wear and some tips for creating new ones.

  1. 9 Common Causes of Insecurity

    9 Common Causes of Insecurity

    Top 10 Posts of 2014 #2

Most people deal with insecurity in one form or another.  This post addresses 9 common causes of insecurity with examples of each in scripture.  I share some of my personal struggles with insecurity.

  1. How to Apologize Effectively

    How to Apologize Effectively

    Top 10 Posts of 2014 #3

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