Tag Archives: marriage lessons

My Addiction to Hallmark Christmas Movies

My addiction to Hallmark Christmas movies...

My Addiction to Hallmark Christmas Movies

When I asked Eric what I should write about, he said “your addiction to Hallmark Christmas movies”. Did you sense some sarcasm in that? Me too. Actually, it’s not a bad idea though. I’ve got to be honest. I really am addicted to Hallmark Christmas movies! Sadly, he’s not lying. I admit it. I’m a full-blown Hallmark junkie.

I’m a huge fan of the Hallmark channel and their original movies, albeit cheesy and predictable as they sometimes are. Maybe it’s the predictability that I like? I always know they will tug at my heartstrings. Even if they have some sad parts, I can also always count on a happy ending. Real-life doesn’t always have happy endings, so the certainty of watching one can be enticing.

Maybe the movies are an escape too? That might be where the “addiction” comes in. Addictions are often an escape from something else, aren’t they? Hallmark Christmas movies can offer an escape from an often stress-ridden and drama-filled holiday season. In the movies, we can see the picture-perfect holiday season, traditions, memories, and romance.

Where conviction and moderation come in

Many years ago I discovered that I was developing unrealistic expectations and discontentment in my marriage due to my obsession with romantic movies and books. I felt a strong conviction that I needed to overcome this struggle (that I previously didn’t even know I had). To overcome this, I had to start watching my intake of “romance”. When I started noticing discontentment, I knew I needed to limit how much I was reading and watching. I had to start practicing moderation (or sometimes even eliminate them completely for a while).

If I’m not careful, I can do the same thing with these Hallmark Christmas movies. It can be easy to develop unrealistic expectations of what a Christmas holiday should look like. Real-life might start to pale in comparison to fictional films if I fixate on them constantly. I might start to think, “Man, my Christmas stinks compared to the picturesque traditions and moments they have.” Without caution, I might forget that…THEY AREN’T REAL!!!

My conviction may not be yours

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Unmet Needs and Expectations in Relationships

Learn more about Unmet Needs and Expectations in Relationships...and how to evaluate them

Unmet Needs and Expectations in Relationships

My sister just shared a story with me that she saw on Facebook, and I’d like to share it with you here too.  I didn’t write this story, and unfortunately I do not know the author in order to give due credit.  You may have already heard or read this story because it has been reposted on the internet a number of times over the past few years.  It’s a story of unmet needs and expectations in marriage.  I loved it so much because I think so many people can relate.

A Story of Unmet Needs and Expectations…

My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders. Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings. I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband is my complete opposite. His lack of sensitivity and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

“Why?” he asked, shocked. “I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times. My feeling of disappointment only increased. Here was a man who can’t even express his predicament. What else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me, “What can I do to change your mind?”

Somebody said it right–it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered, “Here is the question. If you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind. Let’s say I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death. Will you do it for me?” He said, “I will give you your answer tomorrow….” My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and I saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting underneath a milk glass on the dining table near the front door, that goes… “My dear, I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further…” This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading. Continue reading

What 15 Years of Marriage Has Taught Me…

What 15 Years of Marriage Has Taught Me...Just a few things we've learned over the years

What 15 Years of Marriage Has Taught Me…Just a few things we’ve learned over the years…

By Eric & Tracy Robbins

“So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”  Matthew 19:6 (NIV)

Eric and I just recently celebrated our 15 year wedding anniversary.  I thought it might be fun to share what 15 years of marriage has taught me.  So I invited Eric to write this post with me to share some of the things we’ve learned over the years.  Some things are fun, and some are serious.

One of the first things that 15 years of marriage has taught me is that when you’ve been married this long and have gone through a lot together, you’ll do some crazy stuff!  In honor of our anniversary we decided to celebrate by getting “ring tattoos”.  A friend of mine said, “Pain to symbolize the pain of 15 years?” 🙂 Like many marriages, we really have had our fair share of pain though.  I’d do it all over again, pain and all–that’s how much I love this man!

What 15 years of marriage has taught me... You'll do some crazy stuff together, like get ring tattoos to celebrate!

15 years celebrated with ring tattoos–Shout out to Josh at Davis Street Tattoo in Dallas for taking such great care of us!

 What 15 years of marriage has taught me – Eric:

  • That you shouldn’t joke or say things facetiously that are negative to your spouse.
  • That when your wife knows she’s right, you probably shouldn’t bet against her…be it music artists, a certain date or a sitcom theme song from the ‘80s. 🙂
  • That when you’re at a restaurant and you order something that looks good, your wife will want a bite.
  • That when you have a nice sweatshirt that’s comfortable, your wife is going to want to wear it.
  • That it’s very beneficial to identify your wife’s love language and use it. This will only work to your benefit—showing them love in their love language, not just your own.  (see this post here)
  • That when your wife is tired, hungry or hormonal, you should just back off and give her some space. And definitely don’t say anything about why you think she might be so cranky.
  • That sports aren’t the most important thing in life. (Tracy just said, “Yeah, apparently you have to have time for hunting and fishing too!”)  After watching football on Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Thursday, maybe you shouldn’t watch the World Championships of Curling on Friday…might be best just to let that one go.
  • That when your wife says, “I don’t care”, it really means, “no”.

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