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Choose Gratitude

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Choose Gratitude

Sometimes the holidays can be a difficult time for people. It can feel like something to “get through” rather than something to enjoy. At times there are triggers that can keep us from loving and appreciating the holidays as much as we could. It’s in times like these that we have to make a choice to be grateful and find joy. We need to choose gratitude. I recently heard that gratitude and negative thoughts cannot function simultaneously.

I’ve written previously, that gratitude can affect our hearts and our perspectives. I’ve learned that obsessing and focusing on the negative will make me bitter. It can also cause a spiritual blockage which can in turn be offensive to others and to God.

However, when I can shift my mind from the negative things and intentionally focus on and choose gratitude, a positive internal shift happens. Looking back with gratitude and thankfulness can lighten the load and help things seem a little brighter and less dark. Additionally, choosing to see God’s provision can alleviate some frustration and discontent.

Gratitude affects our mental health & well-being

It should come as no surprise that gratitude is a crucial component of mental health and well-being.

Numerous studies have concluded that gratitude showed significant protection against and lowered levels of depression and anxiety.[1][2][3] One 2015 study indicated that “Gratitude is a protective factor against psychopathology not only due to its association with improved relationships with others, but also because it is connected to a less critical, less punishing, and more compassionate relationship with the self.”[4]

If we find ourselves dealing with difficult and negative thoughts and emotions, it’s a great time to shift our focus. It’s time to choose gratitude.

Gratitude and negative thoughts can’t coexist

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Stop Being Negative!

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Stop being negative

Stop Being Negative!  How I had to learn this, EVEN in the most magical place on Earth… 

We sometimes have to be purposeful and intentional to stop being negative.  It’s so easy to get into these ruts of complaining and negativity.  We tend to dig ourselves deeper the more we give in to these feelings.  That’s why it’s so imperative that we are deliberate about not letting negative situations and circumstances consume us.  It will take some effort to stop being negative.

Not so happy and magical

To give a personal example, I’ll share about my family’s vacation to Florida to visit Universal Studios and Walt Disney World several years ago.  To be honest, at times it was very difficult for me NOT to focus on some of the treatment we received at Disney, especially with the amount of money we spent on this trip (we could have bought a small car!).  I had such high expectations going into the trip because I had always heard of the wonders of Disney’s amazing customer service and how they go above and beyond to make your stay with them special and magical.  Disney is supposed to be known for being the happiest and most magical place on earth.  Sadly, many of our experiences there were anything but that.

We encountered rude and condescending employees at every turn, saw people who really didn’t seem to enjoy their jobs at all, received lackluster service (or no service at all) on a number of occasions, and frequently had to spend close to two hours just to get from one place to another (sometimes causing us to arrive late to reservations…thus giving an additional reason for a Cast Member to treat us rudely).  Needless to say, it was hard not to be negative and to avoid complaining.  To try to be positive and encourage somebody else on top of all of that seemed almost unrealistic.  I’m ashamed to admit that I was not always successful in remaining positive and encouraging.  I was downright frustrated.

Gratitude and seeing the good

There were times though that through frustration and all, I could see positive things if I tried and if I focused on them. However, I did have to be intentional about it in my moments of disappointment.  I had to remind myself that we were very blessed to even be able to go on a trip like this because many families would never even dream of being able to do this.  It was important to stop and look at my children’s smiles and see that they were making lifelong happy memories.  I reminded myself that long after our trip is over we’ll probably only remember the happy times.  It was also uplifting anytime I heard the Christmas music and saw Christmas decorations (FYI…Christmas is my favorite. For real.).

I could also see the exceptionally good employees and good times if I really tried to focus on them.  When the lady at a resort restaurant check-in was extremely rude to us for arriving too early for our dinner reservation, we walked outside to a campfire to hang out for a while and kill some time.  It was a pleasant surprise to have one of the Cast Members outside offer to let the kids use her night vision goggles to try and see some of the animals there at the Animal Kingdom Lodge.  They were sooo excited!  So instead of letting the rude lady ruin my night, I had to focus on the positive experience we had with the kind person who paid special attention to my kids and gave them a wonderful memory of seeing giraffes roaming around in the dark.

When I lost my phone

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Looking Back With Gratitude

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Looking Back With Gratitude

I’m a little late in getting this post written and posted since we’re already into February. Even though this is a bit of a “year in review” post, I feel like some of the elements and principles discussed may still be useful for some people regardless of the time of year. My aim with this post is to encourage people to find the good in the midst of the bad, even when the bad seems to stand out more than the good. It’s about looking back with gratitude.

Gratitude in the negative circumstances

As is typical at the end of the year, I look over the previous year and take some time praying about what God might have me focus on in the upcoming year. When looking back, it seemed like the “bad” or negative things stood out the most. 2022 was a very heavy year. However, I’ve been convicted and reminded that it’s important to not just focus on the bad. It’s essential to look at the good too and be thankful.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Philippians 4:6-8 (NLT)

“Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NLT)

“Do everything without complaining and arguing” Philippians 2:14 (NLT)

I’ve written recently, that gratitude can affect our hearts and our perspectives. I’ve learned that stewing in negativity and focusing on the negative will make me bitter. It can also cause a spiritual blockage which can in turn be offensive to others and to God.

However, when I can shift my mind from the negative things happening in my life and intentionally focus on gratitude, a positive internal shift happens. Looking back with gratitude and thankfulness can lighten the load and help things seem a little brighter and less dark. Additionally, choosing to see God’s provision can alleviate some frustration and discontent.

Choosing to see God’s provision can alleviate frustration and discontent.

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Encourage yourself

There have been several times that I’ve had to go back and re-read my own posts. Some of the same advice I give to others, I need to take myself. I’ve learned, and re-learned, that I need to encourage myself in the Lord as David did when he was greatly distressed.

“And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God.” 1 Samuel 30:6 (KJV)

To encourage myself I can remind myself of where God has been faithful in the past and look at the good He was doing even in the midst of bad things going on around me. Another helpful reminder has been not to overlook or “despise” the small things.

“Who dares despise the day of small things, since the seven eyes of the LORD that range throughout the earth will rejoice when they see the chosen capstone in the hand of Zerubbabel?” Zechariah 4:10 (NIV)

So as I look over the past year, even though we endured a lot of bad and negative circumstances, we continued to see God’s faithfulness, feel his presence, and retain and/or renew our hope (even though some situations are still ongoing). There was so much good to be found through it all, and I have to remind myself of that (sometimes repeatedly).

Looking back over 2022…the bad AND the good

Worst teaching semester ever

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