Category Archives: Friendship

People Are Like Cheetos–They Rub Off On You!

People are like cheetos...they rub off on you!

People Are Like Cheetos–They Rub Off On You!

Have you ever noticed how the more time you spend with someone, the more they rub off on you and the more you start to copy and mimic some of their behaviors?  I think this even happens sometimes unknowingly.  I’ve even heard it said that we even start looking like those we are around often.  Have you ever seen those “pets who look like their owners” pictures?  They’re hilarious!  Apparently, pets and owners can even rub off on each other.

I noticed once that I started saying a word all the time that my brother-in-law often used.  Actually, I think the process went from my brother-in-law to my sister to me and then even went to my husband and my son.  It’s the word “nice”.  I never used to say it so much, at least not in the same context.  Now it’s used with more of a sarcastic tone.

For example, when my daughter said, “Mom, the dog just threw up on the floor!”  My reply: “Nice.”  Or…my college students might advise me that our class Blackboard site has been up and down all week.  Me: “Nice.”  Or… when my iPhone crashed and lost all data, and then when I tried to restore it from a backup and got a message that said “Backup is corrupt” (And I later learned that when you create a backup, the previous backup is deleted and replaced with the new one, thus leaving the only backup I had as “corrupt” and unusable!  What’s wrong with this picture?!), my reply was “Nice!”

It’s just a word I picked up on from hearing them say it often, and then I started using it too.  Do you ever do this? Continue reading

Are You Faithful or Unreliable?

Are You Faithful or Unreliable title image

Are You Faithful or Unreliable?

Do you ever encounter people who are just unreliable? Many years ago I had a friend who would cancel our plans about 80% of the time. She was so unreliable that I could rely on her unreliability! My husband and I used to joke about it often, but it did truly wound me as a friend when I couldn’t count on her. She became untrustworthy. In fact, she and I are no longer in relationship BECAUSE she was not a faithful friend.

Faithfulness, reliability, loyalty, and commitment are very lacking among so many self-proclaimed Christians these days. David’s prayer in Psalm 12:1 seems to still ring true…

“Help, LORD, for no one is faithful anymore; those who are loyal have vanished from the human race.” Psalm 12:1 (NIV)

I recently read a daily devotional on this very topic. Consequently, this post is inspired by that devotion by Judy Jacobs, “7 Days of Preparing for Great Exploits—Day 5”.

“Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found faithful.” 1 Corinthians 4:2 (ESV)

In her devotion, Judy Jacobs says that “Faithfulness was the mainstay of being a steward in Paul’s day; and—beyond a shadow of a doubt—it still is.”[1] Faithfulness, commitment, reliability, and loyalty should be one of many defining characteristics of followers of Christ. Faithfulness, in fact, is a fruit of the spirit that we should all operate in and display.

“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT)

How about you? Can people count on you? Are you faithful?

A poor reflection of Jesus

There are many negative consequences to being unreliable. One especially unwanted outcome of Christians who aren’t faithful is that it can give Christians (and Christ) a bad name. Having a lack of integrity in work ethic and/or reliability does not represent Jesus well. I’ve seen this (and written about this before) in a collegiate setting where students professed to be Christians, but then consistently showed up to class late or even missed class regularly. These same students put little to no effort into assignments and often had apathetic and lazy attitudes that were apparent. These types of students were a very negative reflection to other students and professors who knew they were Christians.

I LOVE the way the Message translation of Colossians 3:22-25 reads:

“Servants, do what you’re told by your earthly masters. And don’t just do the minimum that will get you by.  Do your best.  Work from the heart for your real Master, for God, confident that you’ll get paid in full when you come into your inheritance.  Keep in mind always that the ultimate Master you’re serving is Christ.  The sullen servant who does shoddy work will be held responsible. Being a follower of Jesus doesn’t cover up bad work.”

Other negative ramifications of being unreliable

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Importance of the Right Friends

Importance of the Right Friends

Importance of the Right Friends

“The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.” (Proverbs 12:26 NIV)

In the previous post we talked about the importance of choosing friends wisely. More specifically, we discussed avoiding unequally yoked friendships. We focused primarily on what it means to be unequally yoked in close relationships. However, we did not spend a lot of time on the reasons why we should avoid these kinds of friendships. Therefore, in this week’s post I’d like to spend more time on the importance of the right friends.

When discussing unequally yoked team animals or draft animals, we mentioned that the mismatch can cause the animals to veer off path or course (even going in circles). The disparity can also lead to burdens on one or both of the animals, a loss of strength and energy, a loss of momentum and forward progression, a slower speed, and basically the animals are working against each other preventing both from completing the tasks set before them.

This is also true when we don’t have relationships with the right friends. Bad friends can endanger our course in life and turn us away from the right direction. They can also cause us undue burdens, deplete our energy and strength (mentally, emotionally, AND spiritually). Not having the right friends can slow us down and hinder our progress in life.

Friends can impact the direction of our life

We must guard our hearts when choosing the right friends. The bible says our hearts determine the course of our life. Therefore, not having the right friends (who affect our heart) can have a tremendous negative impact on the course and direction of our life.

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Proverbs 4:23 (NLT)

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn said, “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” Similarly, there’s another saying that goes, “Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.” Both quotes allude to the power that friendships have on our progress in life and in our future.

Our friendships have significant impact on us. There are negative ramifications and consequences when we don’t have the right friends.

Here are a few listed in scripture: Continue reading

Unequally Yoked Friendships

Unequally Yoked Friendships

Unequally Yoked Friendships

“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14 (ESV)

As a college instructor, a church youth small group leader, and a parent of a teen, I get the opportunity to work with a lot of teens and young adults. A frequent conversation that comes up in each of these roles is that of friendships and choosing friends wisely. Even more specifically, we discuss “unequally yoked friendships” and when/why to engage in them or avoid them.

What does unequally yoked actually mean?

The bible often uses agricultural terms due to the relevance to the culture of that time. People could more easily understand spiritual principles when described with an agricultural analogy because it was relatable to something they already knew and understood.

A “yoke” is a wooden crosspiece, harness, or device that is fastened over the necks of two draft animals (usually oxen) and attached to the plow or cart that they are to pull (see the picture at the top of this post). “Yoke” is also a verb meaning to join, link, or unite something. Therefore, to unequally yoke two animals would be to join or link two animals together that are unequal in size, strength, or capability or to link two different kinds of animals (Deuteronomy 22:10).

If a person were to plow a field with unequally yoked animals, we could probably imagine the problems that could arise…uneven plowing or circular plowing, the smaller/weaker animal can’t keep up, the larger/stronger animal gets slowed down, more burden is put on the larger/stronger animal, etc. The uneven match puts the animals at odds with one another preventing them from being able to work together to perform the task set before them.

What does it mean when applied to our relationships and not team animals?

Therefore, as a relational analogy to be unequally yoked refers to linking, joining, or uniting two people that are not likeminded or differ in morals, values, and/or beliefs. Specifically in 2 Corinthians 6:14 it mentions not to be yoked with unbelievers, in other words, not to be spiritually mismatched.

Does it only apply to dating or marriage?

Continue reading

Combat in a New Kind of High Ground

Combat in a New Kind of High Ground

Combat in a New Kind of High Ground

Previously, I wrote about the benefits of high ground or of an elevated position. The name of the Lord provides us this advantage of an elevated position.

“The name of Adonai is a strong tower; a righteous person runs to it and is raised high [above danger].” Proverbs 18:10 (CJB)

This high ground gives us the advantages of protection from the enemy, of having a better vantage point of the enemy, and of a more advantageous fighting position.

When writing about these advantages, I stumbled upon an online article via Military.com that discussed focusing on taking the high ground…but in a completely different way than we might initially imagine. The article demonstrates that taking the high ground no longer means literally fighting from a higher, elevated position or terrain. Instead it involves immersion with the indigenous people.

From the article…

“In previous wars, the high ground, or the most advantageous place to be on the battlefield, was an elevated piece of terrain such as a hill or a mountain from which a unit could best defend themselves, build up their forces, and then advance to the next objective.

The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are anything but conventional conflicts. We can’t battle Al Qaeda the same way we did the Germans in World War II. Sitting on top of a hill with superior firepower is no longer an advantageous position. In fact, it’s actually counterproductive when fighting an insurgency or an enemy that blends in with the local population. Generals Petraeus and Amos argued that the “high ground” in this type of asymmetric conflict isn’t any type of terrain but rather the indigenous people.

In order to win this “terrain” we have to come off the hill and immerse ourselves in the community. We need to create relationships with the local people, understand their fears and needs, provide security, and show them that working with us is more prosperous than siding with the insurgents. We have to win their hearts and minds.  It’s personal.  It’s face-to-face combat.  The only way to win the war is to create one positive relationship at a time.”[1]

Jesus took this kind of high ground!

When thinking of the benefits of the name of the Lord as an elevated position, I immediately saw Jesus in this new definition of high ground. Jesus took THIS type of high ground! In order to battle the enemy, Satan, Jesus came to this earth, into our terrain and into our world, and immersed himself with the local population, with the “indigenous people”. He became a human. He became one of us. This is incarnation, God becoming flesh assuming human nature by becoming a man in the form of Jesus Christ.

Jesus didn’t just fight from an elevated position in the high ground of heaven. He came to earth to become a part of the human race. He came down from heaven and immersed himself in the local community and established relationship with us. Because he came to do life as one of us, he understands our fears and needs. Jesus can relate to us and empathize with us because he was one of us. He knows what we battle. He was tempted as we are.

Because of what he did and sacrificed on our behalf he is able to provide security for us (a way out of sin and death). By Jesus building relationship with us (and us with him) we are able to see that working with him is more prosperous than siding with the “insurgent”, Satan/sin. Jesus came to win our hearts and minds. Jesus came to engage in face-to-face combat with our enemy.

Jesus immersed himself among the indigenous people…scripture references

“So the Word became human and made his home among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. And we have seen his glory, the glory of the Father’s one and only Son.” John 1:14 (NLT)

“Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being…” Philippians 2:6-7 (NLT)

“Great indeed, we confess, is the mystery of godliness: He was manifested in the flesh, vindicated by the Spirit, seen by angels, proclaimed among the nations, believed on in the world, taken up in glory.” 1 Timothy 3:16 (ESV)

“But when the right time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman, subject to the law.” Galatians 4:4 (NLT)

“The law of Moses was unable to save us because of the weakness of our sinful nature. So God did what the law could not do. He sent his own Son in a body like the bodies we sinners have. And in that body God declared an end to sin’s control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins.” Romans 8:3 (NLT)

“For this reason he had to be made like them, fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people.” Hebrews 2:17 (NIV)

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet he did not sin.” Hebrews 4:15 (NIV)

Then how do WE take this kind of high ground?

Our goal is the same as Jesus…to win the war against Satan and sin, by creating one positive relationship at a time. Win people to God, one relationship at a time. Evangelism is done better in relationship.

Take Some Practical Steps to Take This Kind of High Ground:

  • First, immerse yourself among the “indigenous people”. 🙂

You can’t reach people if you don’t engage with them! Take a step outside of your own comfort zone and venture, uncomfortably and awkwardly, into the sometimes messy lives of others. Put yourself out there. Be vulnerable.

Also consider this… Who do you avoid? Who makes you uncomfortable? How can you take a step to engage with them? In southern vernacular, “Get off your high horse and get down and dirty with the people.” The high horse isn’t the high ground you want! This might require doing a self-righteous self-check. 😉

It doesn’t always have to be hard, unenjoyable, uncomfortable, or awkward. Sometimes it’s easy and simple (sometimes deceivingly so) to engage with others, but you still have to take a step!

  • Secondly, create relationships.

Develop a rapport, trust, and relationship with those who are in need of help. Meet them where they are, and relate to them where you can. Find common ground. Utilize empathy and attempt to understand their fears and needs. Provide security and encouragement when and where you can.

Let people see Jesus in you and through you. Show others that it’s more prosperous to side with God.

How can you take this new kind of high ground by immersing yourself into your own community or into a community you’d like to reach? Who can you engage with this week, this month, or this year? Share with us by leaving a comment below.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are rude, disrespectful, sarcastic, offensive, or off-topic.  By posting on this site you agree to my Comment Policy.

P.S.  If you liked this post, you might enjoy receiving new posts delivered right to your inbox each week!  Sign up here

If you know anyone that could benefit from this, please pay it forward!  Share this post via the sharing links below.  “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV)

  1. Abrams, Michael. “Focus Your Transition on Taking the High Ground.” Military.com, www.military.com/veteran-jobs/career-advice/military-transition/focus-your-transition-on-taking-the-high-ground.html.

Let Your Life Speak Louder Than Your Words

Let Your Life Speak Louder Than Your Words

Let Your Life Speak Louder Than Your Words

This past week during our church youth group, a few of the student small groups got together for a Question & Answer session. During this Q&A session the topic of letting your life speak came up. A couple of the questions that arose had to do with how we, as Christians, should behave around unbelievers (non-Christians) or those with differing lifestyles. Some examples of the questions included:

How do I talk to this person who is an atheist?

How am I supposed to talk to people about God if they don’t believe the same way I do or have a different religion?

How should I treat homosexuals or transgender people (if I disagree with their lifestyle)?

A couple of the students and leaders threw some obvious answers out there…

“You treat them/talk to them the exact same way you’d treat anyone else!”

“Treat others in the same way that you would want them to treat you.” Luke 6:31 (NET)

“Jesus, himself, was found hanging out with the ‘sinners’. Jesus said ‘Healthy people don’t need a doctor–sick people do.’ (Luke 5:31 NLT) How are we supposed to impact or influence people that don’t believe if we don’t spend time with them and show them love? That’s what Jesus did.”

Let your life speak…aka Let your life do the talking

I tried to share some examples from my own life about how this might be played out practically. I shared how I felt that our lives are actually more impactful and powerful than our words. In fact, I might do better winning people over by keeping my mouth shut! In other words, we need to let our life speak louder than our words.

The following scripture has always been a significant one for me in this area…

“Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” 1 Peter 3:1-4 (NIV) or said another way…

“…Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words…” 1 Peter 3:1 (NLT)

I’ve mentioned before how I’m a fan of daily positive affirmations. One of my affirmations is “People see Jesus in me. I win people over by the way I live without saying a word.” My heart’s desire and prayer is that I am always a positive reflection and representation of Jesus because I know that I might be the only “Jesus” that some people see.

“And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.” Colossians 3:17 (NLT)

Even Jesus told people to let their life speak

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Why Would God Leave the Ninety-Nine?

Why Would God Leave the Ninety-Nine?

Why Would God Leave the Ninety-Nine?

Have you ever heard the saying that God will leave the ninety-nine to look for one who is lost? I had a bit of an epiphany about that while singing in the shower the other day. One of my favorite praise songs lately is “Reckless Love” by Cory Asbury. During the chorus part of the lyrics say:

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God

Oh, it chases me down, fights ‘til I’m found, leaves the ninety-nine

“Leaves the ninety-nine” stood out to me. Then I thought of the scriptures that mention the Parable of the Lost Sheep:

“If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them wanders away, what will he do? Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others on the hills and go out to search for the one that is lost? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he will rejoice over it more than over the ninety-nine that didn’t wander away! In the same way, it is not my heavenly Father’s will that even one of these little ones should perish.” Matthew 18:12-14 (NLT)

“So Jesus told them this story: “If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them gets lost, what will he do? Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others in the wilderness and go to search for the one that is lost until he finds it? And when he has found it, he will joyfully carry it home on his shoulders. When he arrives, he will call together his friends and neighbors, saying, ‘Rejoice with me because I have found my lost sheep.’ In the same way, there is more joy in heaven over one lost sinner who repents and returns to God than over ninety-nine others who are righteous and haven’t strayed away!” Luke 15:3-7 (NLT)

Doesn’t that seem a little unfair? 

Continue reading

What I Learned From the Ladies at Craft Club

What I Learned From the Ladies at Craft Club...multigenerational lessons...

What I Learned From the Ladies at Craft Club

God has been impressing upon me lately about the importance of multigenerational learning. I think He especially wants all of us to grasp the importance of learning and gleaning wisdom from people older, wiser, and more experienced than us. I think this is extremely important for upcoming generations. (I’ll talk more on this in future posts.) My mom and I were just discussing this concept not long ago, and we started talking about how much I’ve benefitted from something as simple as the Craft Club at our church.

Several years ago I decided to get involved at the Craft Club at my church. To be completely honest with you, I have NO IDEA why!! I am NOT crafty. At all. Not even a little. My mom, Jacki, and my sister, Shawna are the highly talented, crafty people in our family. Maybe I was just excited about Christmas (that, however, IS TOTALLY me!), and the Craft Club was making Christmas decorations for the church and for our Christmas Train event. I figured as long as they didn’t put me on sewing and they showed me what to do I’d be fine.

I think I benefited more than they did!

Well, I really think they got the raw end of the deal, but I had a GREAT time! Except for maybe scalding my hands one too many times with a hot glue gun. I’m sure they never ceased to be amazed at how long it took me to complete a project. Those ladies, especially my mom, ran circles around me with embroidery too. I think my mom finished 4 embroidery pictures in the amount of time it took me to complete one. They can’t say I didn’t warn them though! Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if some of my projects were lovingly “redone” or repurposed after I left! Ha!

Even if they didn’t get as much benefit from me, I sure will treasure the amount of wisdom, love, patience, empathy, fun, and knowledge (and I could go on) that I gained from my time with all of the amazing ladies that I worked with there. I will never forget some of the life lessons and multigenerational friends that I acquired over the years in Craft Club.

A sponge soaking up wisdom

I often say that I love being around older people and listening to them because I just feel like a sponge soaking up all of their wisdom. At the Craft Club we had women of all ages. However, we did tend to have a larger number of more “mature” women. Typically, we went to Craft Club during the daytime so it was really convenient for retired women. Each and every lady that I encountered there had a different lesson to teach me. Continue reading