Category Archives: Relationships

Get Back to the Basics

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Get Back to the Basics

As we are a couple of weeks into the new year, several people are making new commitments, forming new habits, and strengthening spiritual disciplines. Sometimes, I find it helpful to revisit the basics and/or review or remind myself of some things that can be helpful.

Below are some links to revisit some of the basics via some of our previous posts. (You can also find these posts via the “New to the Faith? / The Basics” page on the blog’s menu.)

  • Look over the list of posts and see if any stand out to you, fit with some of your goals for this year, or may help you strengthen some spiritual disciplines.
  • Even, if you’ve read the post(s) before, it’s often helpful to get a refresher, and many times the Holy Spirit might point out something that wasn’t necessarily prominent or as meaningful the first time around. I find this to be true when I re-listen to sermons or podcasts as well.
  • You might also consider sharing a post or two with someone that comes to mind as you read through the links. You never know what might be helpful for others as they strengthen their own spiritual disciplines. Sometimes we all could use a boost in the basics.

Learn and Grow in the Christian Faith

A Christian’s purpose and mission in life is to continue to become and live like Jesus. It is possible! In fact, we are told to do so in several places in scripture. Jesus even says numerous times, “Follow Me…” It is said that there are recurring 4 phases of a journey that every Christian goes through: Know God (learning), Grow in Freedom (fixing broken stuff in our lives), Discover Purpose (discovering and using your God-given gifts and talents and life experiences), and Go Make Disciples, Go Make a Difference (helping others grow and making a difference in the world).

Can I Really Live Like Jesus?

Resources and Tools

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God Can Bring a “Resurrection” to our “Deaths”

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God Can Bring a “Resurrection” to our “Deaths”

Recently I heard Phil Wickham’s song “Sunday is Coming” which was released just before Easter this year. The song speaks the message that Jesus’ death is good because it’s followed by his resurrection (“Friday’s good cause Sunday is coming, Don’t lose hope cause Sunday is coming[1]). The significance is that death wasn’t the end (“They laid Him down inside that grave, but that wasn’t the end…[2].

It’s a perfect Easter song, but after hearing it, a couple of other situations came to mind that made me think of the song. A number of people I know are experiencing a variety of losses. The losses include things like the ending of a season of life, the ending of a long-term relationship, the loss of a job/home/friends, and a loss of dreams or what they had hoped for their future (in other words a loss of what could have been). I liken these losses to a “death” of sorts because we grieve these losses.

As I prayed for these losses or “deaths”, Phil Wickham’s song entered my thoughts. Having tremendous empathy, my heart was aching and grieving for what they must be going through. While praying for their comfort, peace, healing, and future a thought came to mind: “These ‘deaths’ are not the end. With God, there can be a resurrection of new things in their lives!”

In hopes that this analogy might be an encouragement to others, this post will share some of the spiritual insights of “deaths” followed by a “resurrection” (bearing in mind these are not literal deaths and literal resurrections but rather figurative).

Some deaths are followed by a glorious resurrection

On several previous occasions and even recently on a podcast, I’ve heard Pastor Willie George say that “Every death in Christ is followed by a glorious resurrection. God takes the things that we die to and resurrects them in power and holiness so that we do not lose what we present to Him![3] He’s taught before that when we have to give something up or lose something for the sake of Christ, God will bring about a resurrection in our life.

Pastor George gave some examples of sacrificing and giving up certain hobbies and things like hunting, hobbies when his kids were young in order to spend quality time with them and involve himself in their interests. He then stated how God paid him back even better later after his kids were grown and resurrected some of those dreams and hobbies. In fact, God restored his hobbies to life to the point where he’s even turned his love for the outdoors and hunting into a new ministry now—something even better than he could have originally dreamed.

Some “deaths” and sacrifices are good because there will be a resurrection to follow. Additionally, God may bring new life to something we’ve given up or lost in ways that are even better than we can ask or imagine.

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us” Ephesians 3:20 (NIV)

Take up your cross

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“Make Me Feel Important”

Make Me Feel Important

Imagine that everyone that you meet is wearing a sign that says, “Make Me Feel Important”

In a recent post, we discussed how we are often more important than we realize. So today, I thought I’d flip the script a bit and repost an older article about how we need to make others feel important by imagining that everyone wears a sign that says, “Make me feel important.”

My church is a pretty large church in Tulsa, OK.  There are several things that our church does to make a big church feel a little smaller with small groups, serving opportunities, outreaches, etc.  One of the things we used to do was called a “section community” which is defined as people who connect weekly by sitting in the same section of the auditorium when they come to church.  Each section has section leaders who facilitate connection among the section members.

My section had some pretty great leaders—Scott and Dawn.  One way they connected with us on a regular basis outside of service was through some encouraging e-mails and Facebook posts.  One time they sent an e-mail that I TOTALLY loved, and I got their permission to share it on my blog.  It’s about how we, as Christians, should be treating others.  In particular, they shared how we should imagine that everyone that we encounter on a day-to-day basis is wearing a sign that says, “Make me feel important”.

Here is Scott and Dawn’s e-mail message:

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You Are More Important Than You Realize

You Are More Important Than You Realize

You Are More Important Than You Realize 

It’s notable to mention that it is highly likely that you are more important than you realize.  I would venture to guess that your gifts and the roles that you play probably hold far more weight in the kingdom of God than you probably give them credit for.  One day when we stand before God and give an answer for how we used our gifts and fulfilled our purpose, it will be exciting to see the magnitude of our influence here on this earth.  I believe that God thinks that YOU are a pretty big deal! 😉 

As we are coming to the close of a school year, it’s a good reminder for educators, staff, students, and parents alike. I’ve mentioned it before and the same is true now…you might be making a difference in the lives of others without even realizing it.

You and your gifts are necessary

God has given each and every person here on this earth a unique set of gifts and a purpose to fulfill.  Each gift and purpose is vital to God’s plan.  In fact, the Bible uses the analogy of a body and its different parts to demonstrate this point.  Each part of the body is necessary in order for the body to function properly (as God intended), and each God-given gift, role, and purpose is necessary in order for God’s kingdom, or the “body of Christ”, to function properly.

We are the body of Christ, and just as a body has many parts, so does the body of Christ.  The parts are placed exactly where God wants them (1 Corinthians 12:18).  Our gifts are part of this body.  There are a lot of them, and they all have different functions.  They all work together as part of a whole.  Every part is necessary.  We need all of the parts, just like God needs all of our gifts.

“Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other. In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well…” Romans 12:4-6 (NLT)

It’s tempting, but unwise, to compare our gifts with those of others

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How to Respond When People Offend You

How to Respond When People Offend You...

How to Respond When People Offend You

What do you do when people offend you, insult you, treat you badly, or persecute you?  I’ve had some practice working on this unfortunately. I’m sure I’m not the only one, so this post will discuss some of my experience in dealing with offense and responding to others.

Previously I mentioned that I was getting an increasing number of negative comments on my blog posts.  Some were from well-meaning Christians who felt the need to correct me.  Others were from people of a differing religious belief system who wanted to argue and debate over doctrinal issues.  Some were from people, Christian or not, that just intensely disagreed with things that I said (and not always in the nicest way).  Frequently I get a bit lambasted on Pinterest with comments from atheists, specifically about a post on “How to Pray for Unsaved Loved Ones”.  I guess you could call it a persecution of sorts.

The temptation to argue when offended

Apparently some of them are taking offense that I, as well as others who are pinning these prayers, might be praying for them, and they want me to stop.  Well guess what?  Not gonna happen.  🙂 And now, since they were so kind as to leave me a comment and give me their name, I can pray for them more specifically.  By name.  Which, by the way, I wasn’t doing before because I didn’t even know them. 🙂  They can’t really stop me from praying can they?  I know…I’m such a rebel.  The problem that I’ve been struggling with though when I get offended  by their comments is wanting to reply to them.

These commenters have written things that are critical and insulting.  They say things and make accusations that aren’t true.  Often, they take things I say and twist or misconstrue them.  They definitely appear to be in “attack” mode.  My first gut reaction is that I’m extremely offended.  I feel very angry because I feel a sense of injustice.  I deeply want to want to argue with their comments.  It takes an awful lot of restraint not to say anything.  Instead of arguing and fighting back, I’ve had to learn to hold my tongue and fight back with prayer.

Biblical communication guidelines

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Burdens and Loads

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Burdens and Loads

“Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. For each one shall bear his own load.” Galatians 6:1-5 (NKJV) [emphasis added]

Recently the topic of burdens and loads has come up in various settings as I’ve talked with people in my small group, friends, family, etc. Through some of our discussions, we’ve had conversations about the difference between burdens and loads. We’re told in Galatians 6 to bear one another’s burdens, but we’re also told to bear or carry our own load. So what’s the difference? Is this a contradiction?

There is a difference between the two. It’s not contradictory to say “help others” on one hand and then “carry your own” on the other hand. Fortunately, I’ve actually sat under some helpful teaching and have done some study on this topic. Since it’s resurfaced in recent conversations, I thought it would be a good topic to write about and share what I’ve learned.

There’s a difference between burdens and loads.

I think it would be good to start here by defining the difference between burdens and loads. Let’s look at the scriptural context here by going back to the original language.

Burdens

Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2 (NKJV)

The word for “burdens” here is baros in the Greek language. This word was used to describe a heaviness, weight, or trouble throughout biblical text. In Strong’s definition (G922)[1] it’s defined as something that’s abundant or a burdensome weight. It carries the notion of going down or sinking. An analogy here might be a ship that is carrying so much excess cargo that it’s causing the ship to sink under the weight of it.

So by this definition, to bear another’s burden is to take some of the weight off so that they’re not “sinking” anymore. We would relieve them of some of the heaviness that they are carrying. By doing this, we are helping them with something that they cannot do on their own or do for themselves. It would include those who are weighed down with too much and need help. Burdens cannot be carried alone.

We all have burdens, but God does not intend for us to carry them alone.

Loads

But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. For each one shall bear his own load.” Galatians 6:4-5 (NKJV)

The word for “load” here is different than the one used for “burden” in verse 2. The Greek word used here is “phortion”. This word as described by Strong’s definition (G5413)[2] is an invoice (as part of a freight), a task, or a service. It would be something carried, as in the cargo or freight of a ship. Another example of a load is a responsibility.

Loads are an individual and independent responsibility and can be carried alone. We shouldn’t expect others to carry our “load”. Some things can and should be carried on our own.

I love how Sarah Geringer describes loads

“We are responsible to carry our own loads, but not the loads that rightfully belong to others. It’s also not right to permit someone else to carry the load that belongs to you. Able-bodied and able-minded people are fully responsible to carry their own mental, physical, emotional, relational, vocational, and spiritual loads. That’s God’s design, both for our protection and enjoyment. …The load God assigns to you is just right for you, not too light or too heavy.”[3]

Help, don’t enable

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Whether Happy or Hurting Remember Immanuel

Whether Happy or Hurting Remember Immanuel

Whether Happy or Hurting Remember Immanuel

This week I would just like to share with you a short and sweet post and a reminder that Jesus is Immanuel, God with us.

Several years ago, I learned of some very sad news just a couple of weeks before Christmas. The wife of Joe McGee had passed away. Joe is one of my favorite Christian teachers/speakers who I’ve referred to here on the blog on a number of occasions. My heart just broke and grieved for Joe and their 6 children and grandchildren—especially at Christmastime.

I’ve thought of other families that have suffered losses, of various kinds, at this time of year and how difficult this must be. I was thinking, “How hard it must be to suffer a loss at this time of year. Will every Christmas be a negative trigger for them now?” However, one morning as I was doing my daily quiet time and devotions, I was reminded of something. Part of Christmas, the celebration of Jesus’ birth, should not only be to celebrate the human birth of Christ but to recognize and remember his deity as well.

Immanuel means “God with us”

We need to remember that one of his names is “Immanuel” which means “God with us”. God came to be with us. We are not isolated and alone. In a lonely, hurting, and isolated world God said, “I want to come be with you. I want to help you. You’re not alone.”

God is Immanuel to families in their time of hurting. God is with them. So maybe Christmastime can be less painful with that in mind. God knows they are hurting and what a good time of year to remember that Jesus is Immanuel; God is with us. Maybe He will say to them and remind them this year and every Christmas hereafter, “I am with you. I am here.”

At Christmas and all year, Jesus is Immanuel

“Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.” Isaiah 7:14 (NIV)

“The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”).” Matthew 1:23 (NIV) 

Take Some Practical Steps To Remember Immanuel:

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Be An Encourager…Make More Positive Comments

Be An Encourager…Make More Positive Comments

Be An Encourager…Make More Positive Comments

Lately, we’ve been discussing some of the downsides of communication with others.  Negative communication is often inevitable so we talked about how to avoid making negative comments and how to respond to critical and sometimes hurtful communication when we are on the receiving end.  On the flip side though, not only is it important to avoid making damaging comments, but it’s valuable to go the extra mile to make positive comments and to point out the good in situations.

I previously completed a six-part series of devotions on my YouVersion Bible app that was based on the Stay Positive series by Pastor Craig Groeschel, the Senior Pastor at Life Church.  Something that Pastor Groeschel said really stood out to me (which was an indicator that it was something that I need to work on).  He said if you think something good, you should say it and that you should never rob somebody else of a blessing. He said we should be a tool of God to be a voice of encouragement to other people on a daily basis.  His advice was that anytime we think something good about somebody else we should turn it into a gift of encouragement.

“But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” Hebrews 3:13 (NIV) 

God is an encourager

In fact, God himself is an encourager.  We need to be like God and be encouragers too!  When we encourage others, we are showing and being a little part of God to somebody else…somebody who may really need it.

“But God, who encourages those who are discouraged, encouraged us by the arrival of Titus.” 2 Corinthians 7:6 (NLT)

I often think good things about other people, but I’m not always the best at vocalizing positive comments.  So after Pastor Groeschel’s advice, I’ve been trying to do better about immediately saying, calling, or texting whoever it is that I may have had a positive thought about.

If I see something my sister has done that is super creative, I should try to remember to call her and tell her and not just think about it. If I’m grateful for something Eric has done, even something small, I should send him a text at work just to say “thanks, I appreciated when you…”  If one of my kids did something to make me laugh or smile, I should stop right then and tell them that they make me happy.  They are all simple little things that I typically just think about and pass over every day, but when I do so I am essentially robbing them of a blessing.

What if we encouraged more than we complained?

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